You’ve only been gone one day; one morning, really. But you know what it feels like? Twenty years.
And you know what twenty years without your love feels like? Like s**t. Like I can’t be happy cause I miss you so much. Like I can’t go through one action without thinking about what we did that last year, day, night.
But you’ve only been gone one morning, one hour, really. But it feels like I’ll never see you again. Which I might not. But maybe I will.
But you know what that wondering feels like? Like Hell. Because you’re consuming my thoughts and I can’t focus. So thanks for that. Like an unbearable weight. Like if I don’t tell you what I think right now, I might just fall apart.
I missed loving you once, but hopefully not twice.
Apparently, I'm kind of into unconventional poetry right now, since this is two in a row. But I'm into unconventional writing in general, so hopefully it's not too much of a stretch.
I had some problems with just the placement of my lines, so hopefully that doesn't get messed up on y'all's computers/phones/etc, but if it does, feel free to ask questions! I hope y'all like this piece because I do.
My Review
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I kinda love the analogy of "Once" & "Twice". It portrays so many insights (love-visions) in words; paints enormous amount of deepen thoughts ov'r emotions. Very heartfelt write you've come up with! Yes exactly, the write belongs to your earlier piece of art called "Two Sides". "Two Sides" seemed to be a visionary/flashback version of the write "Twice" that further impacting the hearts... with magnificence. The thing that makes your stuffs strong enough to beloved's "emotions" that you well stream down to your breathtaking pages. I'm very glad that I read this write & understand how true your words are - systematically phenomenal - for love. Excellent Work, Kess!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Yes, now that you've read and responded to both pieces, I can see even more how they are increasingl.. read moreYes, now that you've read and responded to both pieces, I can see even more how they are increasingly related! This, especially, is one of my pieces that is more true than the others, and is spoken almost solely from the heart, instead of my mind, which makes it one of my more favorite pieces; but of course, I am so indecisive I can hardly pick favorites.
Thank you so much for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Missed opportunities are hard to come by a second time so we feel all the more protective, appreciative and on some level afraid too. I like this, totally relatable.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I'm glad the point and feeling came across; this is one of my favorite poems I've written.
Really, really good! I love the style and the imagery you used to describe the emotions in this piece. It hit home due to a similar situation a member of my family is going through right now - separation from someone they love. Well done!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I hope I portrayed it well enough! Thank you again!
I kinda love the analogy of "Once" & "Twice". It portrays so many insights (love-visions) in words; paints enormous amount of deepen thoughts ov'r emotions. Very heartfelt write you've come up with! Yes exactly, the write belongs to your earlier piece of art called "Two Sides". "Two Sides" seemed to be a visionary/flashback version of the write "Twice" that further impacting the hearts... with magnificence. The thing that makes your stuffs strong enough to beloved's "emotions" that you well stream down to your breathtaking pages. I'm very glad that I read this write & understand how true your words are - systematically phenomenal - for love. Excellent Work, Kess!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Yes, now that you've read and responded to both pieces, I can see even more how they are increasingl.. read moreYes, now that you've read and responded to both pieces, I can see even more how they are increasingly related! This, especially, is one of my pieces that is more true than the others, and is spoken almost solely from the heart, instead of my mind, which makes it one of my more favorite pieces; but of course, I am so indecisive I can hardly pick favorites.
Thank you so much for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I really enjoyed reading your poem. You captured the loss of love very well. I thought the ending to the poem was great too.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you. I'm glad the feelings came across as strongly as I had hoped- desperation, sadness, and i.. read moreThank you. I'm glad the feelings came across as strongly as I had hoped- desperation, sadness, and intention. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
"I missed loving you
once,
but hopefully not
twice."
Definitely the best line of the poem. I think the placement came through fine. I like it.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you!! And yeah, after I posted it, I unpublished it and worked on the spacing for about 45 min.. read moreThank you!! And yeah, after I posted it, I unpublished it and worked on the spacing for about 45 minutes, haha.
The test of love.
"I missed loving you
once,
but hopefully not
twice."
The yearning and the needing. Leave us wishing for things we cannot have. Thank you Cassie for reading and the comment.
Coyote
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
"The yearning and the needing." That's good! Thank you Coyote for reading!
Nice work Kassie. :) The strong language conveys a lot of bitter emotion and the formatting really add to the feeling.
Great poem - thanks for sharing. :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Yes, I really tried to convey that bitter and painful feeling of losing a love, and I'm glad it work.. read moreYes, I really tried to convey that bitter and painful feeling of losing a love, and I'm glad it worked! Thank you!
I am 19 years old, I am majoring in political science, with a minor in military studies. I volunteer at a horse therapy center for people with disabilities, I'm on my college rowing team, and I love t.. more..