Something

It was something about that white pickup with the broken back window and the empty ammo shells rolling around in the bed. It was something about that part of the river, especially when it was all quiet and flat, except for the fish making waves on the surface. It was something about the way she laughed, and how she didn't do it so much anymore. It was something about how that old yellow lab just sat by the door, his head always shooting up when a car door shut and boots stepped onto the gravel. It was something about the way she couldn't fall asleep without him next to her, and how now she yawned all the time.
  It was memories and quiet and sadness and thoughts and being awake.

Author's Note

Wrote this on my phone a while back. I liked the formatting on there better, but I hope y'all like it! Thanks for reading (and hopefully reviewing!).

Reviews

[rickm97]

Memories; they can be extremely painful and wonderfully pleasant all at the same time.
I'm not educated enough to be a technical critic, so I don't try to be.
I like the way you think; you try to tap into the reader's emotions and make them feel something, perhaps conjuring up memories of that river that meanders through their own memories.
It did for me, especially the part about sleeping next to her. I can REALLY relate to that!
Thanks, Kassie.
Well done.

[K.]

I love that first line of your review. that's exactly what I was going for in my story! And I'm glad you related, that really is what I try to do in a lot of my stories- make the reader feel and relate (which will make them like it more ha!), so I'm glad that came across. Thanks for reading!

[St.Quin]

Your writings are so easy to like and absorb, i love this one the most. The lines are well-thought and undeniably pleasing. Your creativity expresses emotions quite effectively. The sweet sadness of 'how it used to be' .

[K.]

Well, thank you so much for reading my work, I'm glad you appreciated it!

[just another mac withou..]

this could easily become a song....excellent write!

[K.]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!!

[Adam Adams]

No surprise that you've come with another shell of suspense!

So what "Something" says is that she was lost into the memories of him; couldn't even slept ov'r the tints of fleecy night without having him next to her. It was all he who kissed her beautiful feathery heart in guise of flattering winds & rushed through auburn hair.. for the restlessness of her mazes... but he was no longer existed in her broken life. He left only into her memories so it was "Something" that kept her awaken during nights & made her feeling that he'd come back to take her back into the dune of love. once again where once she had slept well... into his arms.

Ah... your poetry makes me writing all of these words. I was .. even still am so thrilled to read this poetry/conceptual script. I guess, your phone was quite blessed when it got chanced to get typed by your soften, & of course, very creative fingers. Wondrous work, as always.

[K.]

I particularly like this poem because you don't necessarily know where the man is. Is he dead? Deployed in the military? Or are they just broken up?

You always look so into my words, much more than I do for sure, which makes reading your reviews even more enjoyable! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

[Adam Adams]

Exactly.
That's all where the suspense begins. Your reader ain't know where the man's dwelling... but as far as I know, he's no dead.. either not even deployed in the military cause. if he was dead there wasn't a analogy of anymore awaiting. In your poetry/story, the character's craving to have him back and so lost into his visions the way lovers do so to me, he's alive .. they're just broken up because.. she's longed to have the same sensations off him he had blew to her way ... in an every touch of love. Not sure... if am right but I guess, if I think in other way & compare your other "99"days write with this one, then i'd say that he got deployed in the military... cause.. your write "99" days just belong to such scenario. Well... I like the suspense especially the way you stirred with your drooled insights!

[K.]

As you can probably see now, I'm somewhat addicted to mystery and suspense!

I like your view and deducing! I always love to hear what other people think my stories are about, on the detail or bigger-picture view, because my stuff is a little weird! Thanks for sharing! And yes, I intended "99 days" to be based off a military deployment! Good job!

[Adam Adams]

So... the man's deployed in military or the girl & the guy just got broke up?
I'd like to clear all of these visions because.. I'm pretty sure.. no other reader can tell me much better than the original writer of the thrilled story.

[K.]

That's the thing... I don't know for this one. For "99 days", the guy is deployed. For this one... you decide.

[Adam Adams]

Umm... I guess, they're not even "broken-up" (if I say acc. to this concept). They just got involved into each others memories & these memories could be in any form. They might have been lovers, might have spent one night stand, might have involved into quarrel; might have been away from each others. In short, I decide that she has missed the moments she spent with the guy who always used to keep her around the pleasure of smiles and happiness in guise of whatever he brought to her - The Love. Does it make sense??

[K.]

Yeah, totally makes sense. I like your idea! I think I wrote it with a similar/the same idea in mind, just in my subconscious, and I didn't realize that's what it was until you said that!

[Adam Adams]

Do you have plans to continue 'tis write?

[K.]

I might expand it!

[Adam Adams]

I'd like to see if you write on it something more with another taste of suspense & thrill. Good luck!

[K.]

I'll try to work on it!

[Adam Adams]

Well.. I've already saved your this poetry/story. I liked the idea of the write and it's kinda seemed fascinating to work 'pon so if I do write anything on it or as a IInd part of it, i'll let you know & send it to you (if you don't mind).

[K.]

Yes, please do!

[Thaddius]

Compulsively readable. I'm a fan. Can I be your lit agent, I know some people hahaha

[Thaddius]

I keep reading it. It doesn't have any extra fat on it. It's clean and honest and electric. Do you read Hemingway? I can do this too (it's a rare talent), but sometimes I'm too busy showing off. You are so much more mature than me, and you are 18. Floored. Am I asleep right now?

[K.]

Yes, you can be my lit agent (I ain't goin' far so you don't have too much work to do ha)! But thank you so much, you are so kind! And I don't read Hemingway as much as I should I suppose, but maybe I'll start now! But wow, thank you so much, I appreciate everything you have said more than you can imagine!!

[Thaddius]

Yeah you must be his secret granddaughter

[K.]

Maybe when I'm through reading, I'll do some family research ha

[Stan Lee]

Can I be picky and point out that it should be fish not fishes? :)
I love your short stories. Thanks for sharing.

[K.]

Ah, thank you for pointing that out!! Must have missed that one, will change that right away! And thank you!

[Craig2591]

I love the visuals this creates. It's not among my favorites of your works, but good nonetheless.

[K.]

Yes, I agree, it is not one of my best, but it does provide an image and I like to show it when my writing does that. Thank you for being honest! I appreciate it!