A to B

A. 

  She waded in the river, her fingertips hovering above the reflected surface. When her fingers dipped into the cool water, rings rippled out, colliding with those created from her moving body. She turned around and smiled at me, her hair fallings in front of her eyes, her mouth and eyes still folded in the same melancholy look. Her black dress clung tightly to her thin body. 

  She sat in the water and began to float along with the current. The lady up at the lodge a couple of miles up the road said it had "magical qualities"; I didn't believe her, but she did.

  Sometimes I thought she was crazy for believing in all the things she did, but I dealt with her. Well, I didn't just deal with her, I loved her. I realized that say, when she was floating in that river, her hair flowing with the current, the smug smile hanging on her lips, her fingertips outspread to the sky, her body stiff as a board and her breaths inconsistent and shallow to keep her afloat; I realized that day that I loved her. 

  

B. 

  A smooth stone, flat and black, with a sandy white line down the middle as if it had broken apart and then fixed by cement. Sometimes he rolled it over in his mouth with his tongue, tasting the salt of the shore and sometimes the lotion from her hands if he thought hard enough. Sometimes, all he tasted was last night's whiskey. Sometimes, if he was tired or drunk enough, he could see her standing in between the hanging jungle trees, a mirage in the fog. She would always be wearing that black dress she left him with, almost as if in mourning of the lost feelings he believed, "goodbye" wandering slowly off her lips. He would always load up his gun, move the stone around in his mouth, and shoot at the mist. 

Every little step, she was always there. 

Author's Note

Wrote these two a while ago and just decided to fix them together like this with some minor adjustments.. I like it! I hope y'all do too. Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing!

On another note: a) I got published in my school's literary newspaper ("Boys In a Battlefield"- I think it's up here, if it's not, I can put it up in a second, if y'all want to read it)
b) two days until summer and that means I will be a senior in high school :) excited but very nervous!
c) very busy, but exciting, summer planned for me! highlight= service trip to the Dominican Republic and Colorado for family

Reviews

[Craig2591]

For me this is okay but not your best work. I'm saying this so that you know that my reviews are sincere. It might be just me, though. It is quite good. Just didn't 'wow' me like your other work has.

Congrats on getting published. I think I read 'Boys In a Battlefield' and liked it.

[K.]

Well thank you very much for being honest, I really do appreciate it. This one I took two pieces that I wrote at different times, so the styles were probably less similar than they should've been. Thank you anyways, and thanks for reading 'Boys in a Battlefield'!

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the story. You left a lot of question. Could be expanded. The who,what, why, where and how of every scene could make this a powerful tale. I like the description. You create vision of black dress and memory. I did like the ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[K.]

Thank you, Coyote! I feel like most of my writing leaves a lot of question, like if I expanded all of my works, I could probably have a whole novel, haha. I will think about expanding this. Thank you so much, as always, for reading and reviewing. You are so kind.