Opposites

The steam filled the shower, drowning her thoughts, but never completely, yet still a nice change from the memory-erasing whiskey that sat on her counter. He was out with his friends, a typical Friday night. She wondered if He missed her as much as she missed Him. He hardly ever thought about Her anymore, too preoccupied by the new girls, new places and tonight, the new drinks delivered from the bartender. She should just get over Him, there wasn't a point on waiting and wishing for Him to come back from wherever He was; that is what all her friends always said, maybe she should listen to them, she thought. He had met a girl, Joyce was her name, but then again, maybe it was Grace, he couldn't remember. Her phone rang, her friend said they were on their way over to the bar and she was coming with them; she sighed, stepping out of the steam shower and back into her thoughts, beginning to get ready. He and Grace, or whatever her name was, were in a cab back to his apartment across town, his new one with the skyline of New York. She and her friends finally arrived at the bar, the air light with alcohol, neon lights, and a blasting rock and roll tune; she would forget about Him tonight, she said. When he and his girl got to his apartment, she didn't even notice the view of the skyline; he remembered it was Her favorite part about the apartment. Shot after shot, she loosened up, laughing and dancing along with her friends. He told Grace that she should probably leave, it was late and he wasn't in the mood anymore. In 30 minutes, she had forgotten about Him, and it felt good. He sat alone, looking at the skyline, wondering if She ever missed him, and if She would ever take him back.

Author's Note

Apparently, I am in the post-modern mood? I know this could be written a lot better, but I was experimenting with this idea, and again I'm wanting to see if it is coming across. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)

Reviews

[Craig2591]

I was able to follow it, but with some difficulty. I do like how the characters basically switched places by the end of the story. I agree that it could use some improving to the flow, but I really like the way you've been challenging yourself lately.

[K.]

I was trying to show the point of how the characters switched places mentally, I'm glad that got across. All of my stuff that I've been challenging myself with needs some major improvements, I'm sorry you've had to deal that! I need to cull through my new stuff and improve that, but thank you!

[ayosonolowo]

Nice story, i like the flow.

[K.]

Thank you!

[Marie]

You got the idea across, but it needs to be taken a little further. You wrote only of her and not of him.

[K.]

Well, they have equal time. Every other sentence is about the other, they switch off. One sentence is about her, and then the next is about him.

[K.]

But thank you for reading and reviewing!