'Til It Dies

I wake to the slight knock of something hitting my window, first occurring about every ten seconds, and then more frantically. I rise and rub the sleep out of my eyes, giving them seconds to adjust to the moonlit night. I open the squeaky shutters slowly, careful not to wake Tucker and Jess. I blink many times before my eyes focus below my window, before a pebble hits me on the forehead.

 “Hey!” I whisper angrily at the figure hunched below, picking up more pebbles.

 “Oh, hey...” Charlie picks himself up and clapping the dust off his hands, smiling his little half smile-half smirk. He sticks his hand inside his jacket and pulls out a bouquet of red roses. “Baby, I love you. I love you to the moon and back and to Pluto and around the sun and back, a million times. I love you more than this earth, more than my family, more than you could even imagine.”

 The tear drops down my cheek, glimmering in the bright moonlight. Finally, finally a tear of happiness, I think.

 “So,” he pauses. “You gonna leave me down here to freeze?” I realize how cold it is when I see his breath forming in front of his mouth. I pull my sweatshirt over my hands as I motion for him to climb the ivy growing against the stone wall. Somehow, he makes it up the wall without tumbling to the ground or causing a scene and I find myself face to face with him, his breath warm on my cold face.

 “Well, I was lonely and I wanted to see how you were doing, with the funeral and all tomorrow-” I cut him off with my lips and he kisses back, smiling big. I lay my forehead on his; I need to be on my tiptoes to reach it. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist, his lips finding every part of my face but my lips.

 “Oh, and I brought you these.” He places me down on the bed and hands me the large bouquet of roses. “Just look at those, anytime in your life, and you’ll know I’m thinking of you.” he kisses my forehead and steps over to the window again.

 “Can’t you stay?” I whisper hoarsely, quieting my voice even more since the creaky floorboards have been loud, due to us walking around. I pout my lips and draw my eyebrows together.

 “Tucker’s rules.” he shrugs and throws a scowl on his face. “But I’ll love you until the last of those roses die, just so you know. Goodnight, my love.” he kisses me through the darkness, through the air and slips through the window. “See you tomorrow.” he pokes his head back through the window, his body only a silhouette, and I smile. I hear the thud of his body on the ground, the tread of his footsteps running off. I step back to the window, admiring the roses.

 "Until the last rose dies, huh? That’s not too long- roses die fast.” I whisper to the moon, my fingers picking through the petals until they reach an uncommon texture. I pull it up and see that one of the roses is wood; it can’t die.

Author's Note

This is from a book I was working on for most of my freshman year (I'm going to be a Junior in high school) so that's why it isn't written amazingly (but maybe it is, it might be better than my stuff now, I don't know!). I would love y'all's feedback. I'm putting it up here to see what y'all think and if you want any more of it, because I think I'm going to go back through it and rewrite some of it and maybe post it here as a novel if y'all like it! And lately I've been in the mood for romance for some reason! Please read and comment. Thank you so much.

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

Wow! First off... I couldn't find anything out of place grammar wise. The concept of the roses and the smooth storyline up to the very end with the wooden rose is priceless! I'm usually not one for young romance... but you nailed this one right in the Ooh Ahh Sigh place. You show a great use of vocabulary and good word usage in your stories. Lots of talent in my opinion.

Great Ink! Thanks for sharing it. Twas really enjoyable.
Aaron

[K.]

Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Aaron! It is a little cheesy but that's kind of what I was going for. Thanks again.

[Skye Sparks]

It IS written AMAZINGLY. I definitely want more!

[K.]

Thank you so much! I'll have to find it which may take a while, but thanks and I hope you read it when I get it put up.

[Skye Sparks]

I will, and you are completely welcome!

[Chet]

My favorite part "an uncommon texture". I don't know why this stuck out for me. I enjoyed reading this because I don't do teen romance well. I think you really showed the emotions and anticipation. I would love to read what happens next.

[K.]

Thanks Chet! I didn't think I did teen romance well, but people seem to like it so maybe you'll see some more! Thanks for your interest.

[Craig2591]

A pleasant surprise ending! Don't be hard on yourself. You're a good writer. I enjoyed this.

I'm guessing "when I see him breath forming" should be "when I see his breath forming". Other than that I didn't see any errors.

[K.]

Thank you! And yes, that was supposed to be what I typed, but apparently not! Thanks for catching that.

[Ryanicus]

That was brilliantly written. Very professional. I really loved the soppy twist, really awesome. I'd love to read more about the characters- I'll be waiting for more if you decide to upload it! :D

[K.]

Haha, thank you very much! It was cheesy but what the heck, why not? This is from a middle part of the story so that's why the characters aren't really introduced. And I think since I got good ratings on it, I will be putting more up, hopefully starting from the beginning. I'm not super proud of it right now so I'll probably be rewriting most of it! Thanks for your interest!