Nightmares

Their screams seem to sprint into my ears, constricting my brain and hurting my heart. I reach to comfort a bloody child near my feet, but he acts like I kicked him, cowering in fear and wailing in a glass-breaking pitch. Only one comes near me, she stands and walks to me, her arms outstretched, as if to give me a hug. She reaches me and her blue eyes twitch to a smokey grey, pupils like gears. She goes in to hug me, I stand stunned, then hug her back until I find myself out of breath. I try and pull back, finding myself eye to eye with the grey gears, her mechanical hands cutting off my air flow. I kick at her stomach, which just causes me to lose energy and her to tighten her grip, so I stop. Suddenly, I’m outside of my body, watching myself die. She laughs as my eyes darken, losing the light of life; the color drains from my face and I fall limp, my eyes little crescents. The area around my neck is already red and turning blue-black. I want to step forward and stop her but I can’t, my feet are like they are glued to the pavement. I flicker back to my body for a second, staring up at her sneered grin, her grey, mechanical eyes. They’re the last thing I see before the Death’s dark cloak.

 I jump, finding myself back in the dark bedroom and tucked tightly in your arms. I run my hands over my face, damp with sweat, and I try to sneak out of your grasp. I reach the end of the bed and it creaks, you snatch my wrist, pulling me back and causing me to scream. You jolt awake, shouting something about me and not leaving. We look at each other, startled and at other ends of the bed. We know why we’re both awake: nightmares.

Author's Note

Okaaaay, so I just wrote this and I just want to know what y'all think. It may not be up for long because I don't think it's that good. It's just a little different than what I usually do I guess, so please be brutally honest. Thanks for reading :)

P.S. I know you guys are SUPER excited of my double publishings tonight (note to internet: need a sarcasm font.)

Reviews

[Craig2591]

Very good. That was one hell of a scary nightmare. I hope this isn't from personal experience.

"and at other ends of the bed" would sound better "and at opposite ends of the bed" to me. Or, "and at opposing ends of the bed".

Otherwise it's very good.

[K.]

Sadly, it is from personal experience. I woke up and I couldn't breathe, it was probably one of the scariest dreams I've ever had (I have a lot, so take my word for it). And thank you so much, that does sound better, I'll make that change right now! Thank you so much Craig.

[Sam]

Nice. I love how to tie it all together in the end. Even when you were telling about your dream it was so descriptive and felt so real. You can certainly craft such emotions with your words. You have a talent a real talent.
Thank you for sharing.

[K.]

Thank you so much for reading in commenting. Your positive comments really helped because I didn't think this story was all the good. But thank you so much Sam, I really appreciate you reading and commenting on all my work. It means a lot.

[Sam]

Kassie, if I may just pass on a bit of advice between writer to writer. Don't don't your writing there is a purpose of everything you write if not you wouldn't have written it at all. Trust me sometimes things aren't written for us the author to understand but to connect with some one else. Then they will shed light and help you see what your writing was truly meant to be. ;) You are doing great.

[Sam]

* Stupid keys... it was meant to say don't doubt your writing.

[K.]

Thank you so much, Sam! You are so helpful and sweet :)

[Sam]

Anytime Kassie and you are pretty sweet yourself.