Total

 Total darkness is imperceivable; it can never be known. One person can see their hand in front of their face in another person’s “total darkness”. It changes, it ranges. This dark was lightless, cold and heavy; this was her total darkness.

Her toes stumbled on the pebbles underneath her broken, scarred feet, unable of knowing when she could stop. She got down on her hands and knees and just sat there. She heard the water, the crashing waves onto some unknown shore, and she knew it was somewhere, somewhere out in this world of total darkness. Her body pulled her back up even though the gravity seemed twice as heavy; she has to keep going, she had to make it to the water.

A scream pierced her darkness and the lights flickered on, the contrast painful to her eyes. A lady with a scar running from her right eye to her collarbone stood next to her, a gun pressed against the girl’s temple; it glinted in the light.

“You fail.” the woman’s words came out quiet but strong, the words licked with hatred and dissatisfaction. “Good-bye.” The gun rang out loud and clear; the weak had to be ruled out.

Author's Note

Wrote this a while ago... I don't know how I feel about it. Just wanted to post something. Thoughts and criticism welcomed. Thanks for reading.

Reviews

[Alexx Wake]

Wow...
I'm very much speechless.
This was so dark and very much detailed!
I would totally die to have your talent, I'm beyond impressed!
It's clear you have a gift for writing dark themes.. You're an amazing writer Kassie!
Don't ever doubt it!

[K.]

Thank you so much, Alexx! The only downside to this is that I can ONLY write dark stuff, and it just gets a little repetitive to me after a while. Except you can write, like, anything well. Thanks again for reading and commenting.

[Craig2591]

Very powerful! Very dark (pardon the pun)! I love these little snippets of stories that you write.

In my youth, while I was suffering from depression, I went through a period when I could 'see' the darkness. It's hard to explain, but every time I closed my eyes, I could see the darkness in front of me, like it was a tangible thing, like I could reach out and touch it, like it was a black wall. It drove me nuts! How do you make something like that go away when closing your eyes brings it on? I finally had to learn to ignore it. Luckily, it didn't haunt me for very long. This reminded me of it. (But not in a bad way, don't worry)

[K.]

I can only do these little snippets! I've tried writing actual long stories but I just don't have the attention span or talent to keep it interesting for long enough, haha!

And wow, thank you for sharing. That's actually really interesting (no, I am not enjoying your pain, trust me). I love to think about weird mental ailments like that, I think it's just so thought provoking (now pardon my pun). And sorry for reminding you of it, but thank you in a way; now I have something interesting to throw around in my mind for a while! Thanks for reading and commenting :)

[Sam]

Love it. You captured the darkness and almost put it in a jar you described it so beautifully and even with the lady weak and in pain. It speaks to the heart or to my heart in words that can't be wrote. You have a real talent. Thank you for sharing.

[K.]

Thanks, Sam! You have a talent with writing AND making people's days better :) Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

[Sam]

Your very welcome. :)