Make Up Your Mind

 “Slitted throats and hanged by our toes; that’s how we’d be killed.” she closes her eyes and imagines it, cocking her head to the side, her eyes lost in the stars above.

 “I wouldn’t mind because I’d be with you.” he whispers, tucking the strand of black coffee hair behind her ear and she sighs, dropping her eyes after meeting his for short seconds.

 “How could you say that? How do you know you could die without seeing the next day, the next sunrise, the next sunset? How do you know it’s not going to be the most beautiful thing ever?” her voice is hoarse and lost among the wind, only to be whispered to the leaves hung barely to the trees, to the waves lapping softly on far away shores.

 He is speechless; how did he know? How did he know she wouldn’t be even more gorgeous than she is right now? How did he know if tomorrow would be the best day of his life, or if she would be back to normal a week from now? How had he been okay with the idea of being dead?

 “I-I’m sorry.”

 “I know what you meant though.” she speaks distantly.

 “Well, would you feel the same, I mean, do you feel the same? Do you know what I’m feeling?” he says frantically, the hoe for his words to be finally matched rising in his quick and shaking voice. Silence. Silence. Only the blowing of wind and the high-speed beating of his heart. “Alright.” he stands up, the pain showing dark in his face; all this time with her, gone, for nothing, wasted.

 “Finn, no. You know I didn’t-”

 “I know you can’t change now, so tell me when you make up your mind.”

 The words came out worse than he had imagined, worse than he had meant to say. He turns and sees tears running down her freckled and burned face, shimmering in the new moonlight. Up to the stars he looks and sighs with the wind, the bright bulbs of hot gas shining through the passing clouds.

 “I meant what I said.” he says softly, kissing her forehead and pulling away from her hands clawing at his shirt; being alone feels so different, so sane.

Author's Note

Heyyyyy, okay. So I kinda just pulled an all-nighter (practically my second in a row... oops) so I might have a ton of errors and am probably not in the best mind to write right now, so I would really appreciate y'all helping me with it.

BIG thanks to Craig for always catching my mistakes and reading my work. You rock, dude!

Reviews

[Alexx Wake]

“Slitted throats and hanged by our toes; that’s how we’d be killed.”
I love how the first sentence in the story said so much about the tone of the story.
I felt a little distracted by the structure of which the story was presented. But overall, for an all-nighter writing session, I'll deal with it! You have talent, and honestly I'm excited to read more from you! Have you ever thought about writing a script? The dialogue in this short seems really fitting for film. I adore your talent. Keep it up!

[K.]

Thank you so much, Alexx! And yes, I do see how you could get distracted by that structure, it's a little choppy. I probably could split it up, or just write better, ha. And thank you so much, I'm excited to check out some more of your stuff too! And heeyyyy, thanks dude! If you want to make it a film, please please please use this script and send me the video, it's a great idea. Thanks again :)

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Nice work, from the following line "she closes her eyes and imagines it, cocking her head to the side, her eyes lost in the stars above. " is as if someone whispers on her ear and tries to convince her to rush and commit suicide as she wonders what it would be on the other side.

[K.]

Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I like your thoughts.

[Sam]

I love how you can really draw the readers attention and keep them sitting at the edge of their seat. At least that is how it was for it. You are an amazingly talented writer. I hope to see more great works from you.

[K.]

Thank you so much, Sam! That is exactly the reason I write so your comment is so important to me. Thanks again and I hope to see more from you too :)

[Sam]

Any time you have a captive reader in me. I am fan ;)

[Craig2591]

Shouldn't it be, "How do you know you could die without...?" Makes more sense to me. Otherwise, this is quite nice. I like these short excerpts from larger stories where you don't quite know what's going on. You are very good with romance.

[K.]

Ah, yes, that was what I was looking for! I was in an early morning and no sleep haze (and I still am!) and couldn't think of how it would be right, so I left it to you! So thank you, I will change it! And thank you so much, romance, mystery and war are my stuff. Happy stuff... not so much! Thanks again.

[Rees Thomas]

oh this is brilliant, i really enjoyed the read. it caught my attention straight of with “Slitted throats and hanged by our toes; that’s how we’d be killed.”It catches ones eye great opening for the rest which doesn't disappoint

[K.]

Thank you so much and I hoped it would draw the reader in instead of making them afraid and not reading it. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks.

[Melissa S]

I really enjoyed reading your story

[K.]

Thank you Melissa, I'm glad you enjoyed it.