Rage

Rage. blood boiling rage. the type of rage that simmers up inside of you and takes control from your head to the tips of your toes, and fills you with such anger that it is a life force. such a raging anger that all you can think about is smashing windows, burning forests, kicking and slapping and causing pain to others. mindless destruction is the only thing that comes of this rage, mindless destruction and pain. directed outward but society does not allow you to express that rage, so you must let it out quietly. inward. with slices and scratches and silent hurt instead of killing those around you. 

when it fades you look back at the destruction, and you can see yourself so clearly in the moment, the anger lashing your limbs out to destroy everything you touch. it is irreversible. a window broken, a year later it still isn't fixed. a plate smashed, never getting it back, picking up shards in the garden for days. a glass bottle taken to the wall in blind fury, and when the plaster settles, looking around for a broom and something to cover the hole. people call this mania of rage 'crazy'. crazy is such a broad word. everyone gets this mania once in their life, and it is more common than you think, behind closed doors and mental hospital walls and doorframes to rage at until your voice is raw and your fists are sore. I pray no one ever need experience this rage.