Deep Down Poem

A poem I wrote, for part of my book Deep Down.

Depression meets beneath my soul.

            I'm a puzzle with a missing piece,

               a bare tree,

           a person with one leg.

           Part of me is missing

           Fury builds inside me

          waiting to burst out

           I'm a Halopeno Pepper

          Hot-headed and burning with rage

         Guilt runs through my veins

       I feel like a criminal accused of comitting  murder,but

               I'm innocent

       I feel like crying, screaming, and apologizing all in the same second.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Given the seemingly frantic flow and the mishmash of thoughts and ideas, I felt that the poem ended anticlimactically, for nothing really was solved, no loose ends were tied, and Halopeno, is actually spelled "Jalapeño". So.....it's a great start, don't get me wrong. I just think you can craft it a bit more, so it doesn't feel anticlimactic.

[bonbon7810]

Thanks for the review! I wrote all of this when I was really young and haven't really came back to it. I appreciate your advice though!

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.