thinking in the rain

i take showers in the dark
with my eyes closed...

with the scalding water
running through my hair,
across my cheek bones,
over my mouth, and
down my dropped jaw.

breathing through the streams
is easier when i breathe slowly.
i've learned this over time.

i've been sitting here for hours.
the water is turning to ice.
i can still taste the shampoo
when i lick my lips.

i slowly stand
and turn off the water.
my eyes still closed,
i breathe deep
and exhale slowly.

the curtain moves to the right.
i grab my towel,
and look at you.

it's not regret,
i promise.
i'm just frustrated.

how was class?

Author's Note

I fully appreciate reviews, especially when they tear apart my work in an attempt to make it better. Rip, tea, break it down. Tell me how you do not like it, how to make it better. I want your opinion. Truly.

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

Wow, great use of devices here. I like what you did with the punctuation - the choppy sentences really reiterate your frustration and emphasize the mood of the poem. I think there could be a pensive aspect to this poem that's fighting to get out, but it's beaten back by the frustration and choppiness that overpowers it, which, I think, is just how it should be. The binary between the hot and cold water is clever, too. And of course, the last line is brilliant - it adds a whole new aspect to the piece and manages to (in a rather veiled way) right off all the emotions you just described. Wonderful!

[Dan Bullock]

I absolutely love the simplistic feel to this, don't take that the wrong way at all. It's absolutely wonderful and I can feel every word drifting through your thoughts and I understand the moment! I love showers, I thought I was mad with the time I spent in them. ha!

[Christopher 'Windstorm'..]

nice, but a little confused about how class was lol awsome poem.

[Nautili]

very good. I love it.