i loved that feeling

i loved that feeling

A Poem by V M Smith
"

a little more than the memory hurts.

"

i'm still surprised she hired me

after seeing us together in class

with your hand on my cheek,

my heart in your hands,

and our eyes locked tentatively.

 

perhaps she felt sorry for me?

i bet she saw your confusion,

and our instability.

i know she still wonders

when i mention your name

what happened, why you left.

 

and it hurts every time

i recognize the thought

flash across her face.

 

© 2013 V M Smith


Author's Note

V M Smith
I fully appreciate reviews, especially when they tear apart my work in an attempt to make it better. Rip, tea, break it down. Tell me how you do not like it, how to make it better. I want your opinion. Truly.

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It is like we a peeking into you heart a bit. It has an honestly that is refreshing yet I do feel like I've intruded into your emotions. Don't get me wrong, I like it, you make me feel your point rather than just read it. That is the goal of poetry after all.

I do see two nits:

suprised = surprised
recognise = recognize


Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very good write. Nice show of emotion, and rather well written. I'll be reading more of your work, no doubt.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is like we a peeking into you heart a bit. It has an honestly that is refreshing yet I do feel like I've intruded into your emotions. Don't get me wrong, I like it, you make me feel your point rather than just read it. That is the goal of poetry after all.

I do see two nits:

suprised = surprised
recognise = recognize


Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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245 Views
2 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 30, 2008
Last Updated on August 9, 2013
Tags: want, need, poem, love, relationship, hurt, unstable

Author

V M Smith
V M Smith

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About
i'm not a writer; i am a liar. i sometimes write far too specifically; i sometimes write so vague even i lose track of what it is i'm on about. i tend to write when i can't think. this seems to be.. more..

Writing