Dancing

This is a short story about the thoughts that the victim and the perpetrator might have in such a situation.

Every now and then you can hear the light bulb that's hanging down from the middle of the poorly lit cabin, buzzing. If you can't hear the electricity flowing through the filaments, that's because it is being overpowered by the heavy, unequal breathing and crying, sobbing and screaming coming from the left corner of the room. It's cold, the windows are closed and the door is shut, but the wood floor and walls can't keep the freezing air from getting inside forever. The cabin doesn't have any heating, the only reason why there is a bit of light, is because of the small disposable generator that has enough power to keep a light bulb buzzing and flickering for a couple hours a day. Again the sobbing. Two fingers are placed nervously on the right side of the neck. If it wasn't for all this commotion and panic, you might even hear the heart beating at 160 bpm. Thoughts rushing through his head like never before.

'What have I done? Today was supposed to be just a party, a little dancing. Why did I not see where I was going with this. Why didn't I stop. If I let her go, she's going to go to the police, it's too late. I have no choice anymore. Maybe I can make this right, maybe I can convince her, or drug her to forget. But I can't risk leaving her here alone and somehow escaping. No..I have no choice!'

Walking from side to side, the pale face like the whole blood has been drained and tears in his eyes. The cracked voice, the heavy breathing, the pressure building up, it truly feels like a one way road.

Between the couch and a small dusty painting that is leaning against the wall, the darkness is hiding the silhouette of 16 year old Jeanny. The turquoise dress that she is wearing is a mess, mostly torn, full of mud and a few small twigs here and there. She lost her shoes, probably fell off or maybe she took them off inside the car, she couldn't remember right now. The panic and tears that ruined her make-up, that feeling in her stomach combined with the nausea were too overwhelming. Her crystal like eyes are red now and have been crying for over half an hour. A pulsating pain comes from the back of her head, like someone hit her unconscious not long ago. She tries to scream, maybe someone will hear, anyone. The dirty, salty rag inside her mouth allows her to try and do that all she wants, but in vain. No one can hear, most probably even without being gagged. Her feet are starting to turn blue from the iron string that has been wrapped too tightly around her ankles and starting to fade away inside the flesh. The desire to live has gotten blood dripping all over her hands. The strings just won't break. Never has she been so scared, she just wanted to have some fun, dance, take a few photos to brag about the next morning to her newly acquired friends. 'Please I want to go home, don't leave me here, please, don't kill me!' The tears have been flowing for so long, you'd think she hasn't got any more water in her body. All of a sudden she stops her sobbing for 1 second to look up. The last thing you can hear are three fast steps crossing the depressing room, the big grasp of air, a metal click and finally, the gun went off.

Author's Note

This is the first time I ever tried to write something, but that doesn't mean you should take it easy on me, I'd like to see some honest opinions.

Reviews

[kiatea]

I like how you draw the reader in, there is something going on but you leave enough mystery for the reader to want more.

[studiodenny]

i like your descriptions, specially how you use sound