listen? me? no...

mummy said we mustn't touch that

        ouch

it burns, it burns

please stop hurting me

 

mummy said we mustn't touch that

        ouch

it kills. it kills

please stop hurting me

 

mummy said we mustn't touch that

        ouch

mummy.

said.

we mustn't.

touch.

that. 

Reviews

[-K]

This is....different. A good different though. This leads you into many underlying possibilities but it's the simplest piece, I love that about this poem. Good work, keep it up :)

[dovetailer]

wow...very nice...
like would be so much better if we just listened to mummy...
Short...sweet...profound...

[Alicia Schroeder]

good write

[niyati]

quite interesting n fresh line...
innocent!

[kuru]

interesting...write..liked the innocence of this piece

[Brad]

i was always the kid that had to learn the hard way, and i have the bruises and scar tissue to learn from

[Tomi]

touch what?

[luciddreamer]

Very interesting write...and yes children always do opposite of parents warning...got to make you wonder why we warn...lol....good write :)
Peace
Robin

[bobette]

thank you everyone. the review really helps. i wasn't sure about this one because i was afraid of the reader's response as it is a secretive piece and could demande a focused mind to understand it.
poetic justice and chilson, joshua; you are both very near to the real story behind this piece.
this piece came into mind as i was thinking of ways to sort of 'bribe' my mum so she wouldn't be angry when i go out with my friends late the next day. i knew she wouldnt be happy as i went out and came home late the weekend before, and i knew by going i would be hurting her and me but i still wanted to go out