lead you on

i did it to myself 

but i did it to you too.

i am the villain and i wont stray from responsibility in this situation.

i lack commitment to you,

i lack courage to pursue,

i overlook flaws until it hits me,

and it hits me hard.

i treasure independence to a selfish, onerous degree.

i end up wanting none of you & more of myself.

i lead myself on until i believe i like you,

and when i turn around to walk back,

leaving unconvinced,

i realise you've been following me the whole way.

you walked the whole journey with me,

convinced i feel the same way.

in the least self deprecating way,

i am not a good person.

in the most self deprecating way,

i need to fix myself.

i know what i want & as soon as its in front of my eyes,

suddenly i want something else.

i'm indecisive.

i know my flaws,

i just don't know how to fix myself.