when i keep climbing

i am so tired from climbing.

i feels like it has been forever,

and yet i am not even half way up the mountain. 

the view from here is not very good,

but i am trusting the journey.

it brings me through all the trials and terrors,

and i say it will only build me up to see something beautiful.

if i do not experience, understand, and overcome the avalanches and the storms,

then how will i truly appreciate the view from the top of the mountain?

i savour the glimpses i get when there is a crack in the stone,

a glimpse of beauty and of peace.

a simple glissando of colours through the sky is what keeps me climbing.

seeing a glimpse of what the future will be fulfils a piece of my soul;

a part of the future that i was promised is repleted.

i will keep climbing out of spite of my troublesome path,

and the thought that it may tear me down. 

i will not fail to a few years worth of darkness,

i will not fail to a thousand raging flames burning the embers of what is left of my hope.

ive already started my journey and im too far to give up now.

however, sometimes when im climbing, i do set up a tent.

i cave myself in.

i beat myself up,

i cry and i wail and nobody can hear me because this is my own mountain and i must climb it alone.

but once in a blue moon,

on a clear, cold, silent night,

like a flare in the distance,

i hear a cry back.

i hear the hurt,

i hear the fear.

i understand you.

i curl up and i warm myself until i am okay.

there, a sunny golden beam breaking through a crack shines.

it cuts through the misty, foggy clouds,

and it wakes me up and opens my eyes.

wider, and wider.

i realise.

clouds?

im am higher up than i thought i was.

i will not fail, not now. 

Author's Note

a bit of a longer one tonight