hell is not heaven

on my mind
on my heart

love
love for four years
soooo long
this is not heaven
it is not hell

oh but it is
it is hell
you are always around

lunch things were brought up
not to me
but they spoke to me
you are all around
it is terrible
but it is wonderful

it makes for a confusing mess of emotions
it is unable to be handled
my brain feels like it is about to explode
my heart has already exploded
my heart is like a mess of leaves
scattered on the ground

oh god I love you agata
you and your golden brown eyes
golden brown skin
golden brown hair

you are the picture of my dreams
but I need to replace you
you can never be the picture of my dream
you can never be my heaven
because hell is not heaven