Mist

A poem derived from an element in nature that is portrayed through war.

Mist 
The mist prances along 
a lonely soldier's boots
It washes away dark thoughts
from the valley of dead troops

but it's moist grip will never let go.

Brittney Maxwell

Author's Note

constructive criticism only! how does this poem make you feel? can you picture it in your head?

Reviews

[Aurora]

I definitely feel it... it makes me feel sorrow, and I can definitely picture it in my head. I have no problem with short poems, but I would have liked to see you expand the thought a little more, from what you did here. This is by far one of the best "short" poems I have read. :)

[Brittney Maxwell]

thank you!! I am actually thinking of writing another one but different elements and making it longer, i might actually use this for the first stanza. I really liked how this one turned out

[SteveB]

Exceedingly well done! A vivid image with the metaphor carried throughout. I was reminded as I read it of a photograph I saw years ago of French troops early in WW2 passing through what had been a graveyard for the dead of WW1 which had been shelled and skelatal hands were reaching out of the dirt as if seeking to pull in another generation of the soon to be sacrificed.