A Simple Story

One day a young man maybe 18 years or so decided to drive his car out of the city towards the local forest. It wasn’t far from his house, but was far enough to escape the city. After he parked his car, he got out and started walking. He wanted to commune with nature for a while and distress.

As he walked into the forest it started to snow lightly. It was beautiful to watch as the flakes gently fell to the ground providing a fresh white blanket. In the sunlight it glistened like diamonds. 

He was the only person there. It was dead silent except for the sound of birds in the trees. When he looked up he saw a bevy of bright red cardinals. As he walked by, they looked down and watched him intently. 

All of a sudden, in front of him a red squirrel appeared. It had come out of nowhere. It was gathering nuts for the season. He wanted to follow him to see where he lived but the squirrel froze until the man walked by. Once he passed by, the squirrel unfroze and ran quickly into a hole in the bottom of a large tree carrying his stash of nuts. He was preparing for the coming winter.

The young man kept walking enjoying the time outside with nature and the forest. The only sounds were his steps and breathing. The lack of sound was calming and refreshing to him. At times it seemed like he was walking forever. As he continued he started to feel cold and a bit fatigued. He hungered for a spot of tea or hot chocolate. He was hoping he might come across a restaurant or diner. 

Eventually he came to a small lake which was frozen over. With the ice covering and light falling snow, it was absolutely beautiful. As he looked across the water, he noticed a small wooden cabin. He decided to walk to the other side where there it was sitting. He was curious about it and also hoped someone was there so he might be able to get out of the cold for a moment before walking back to his car.

As he approached the cabin, he noticed that someone must be living in it as smoke was coming out of the small chimney. He walked up to the front door and knocked. No one appeared so he knocked again. Suddenly he heard a dog barking and then the door opened.

An elderly man stood in the doorway. He was tall and thin wearing a red checkered flannel shirt covered by a sweater vest, with round metal framed glasses. He had a pleasant looking face. The dog, a black Labrador stood by his side.

The younger man explained why he was there and asked if he could come inside. The older man said of course and further opened the door.  After exchanging pleasantries, they decided to have some tea and sit by the fire to further talk. As the tea was being prepared, the younger man went by the fire to sit down.  The heat from it felt wonderful and comforting. 

The older man who had introduced himself as Harold Juniper, brought over the tea in ceramic mugs along with a plate of cookies. Harold then sat down as well and turned on the radio for some background music. As they talked, the younger man discovered that Harold had been a professor of history at the local college. He had taught history until he had retired when his wife had passed away. He wanted something else to do so he worked part time as a caretaker for the lake and park area. Harold was allowed to live in the cabin while doing this. He sold his other house and moved himself and his dog, Sam there.

It had become a peaceful life for him, especially in the winter. During the summer, it was much more active with swimmers, families and sports.

Harold particularly loved the quiet time of winter and the closeness of nature and the forest. It gave him a good environment to work on his writing. 

As they finished their tea, they both felt sleepy so they decided to take a little nap before the young man would walk back to his car. Harold grabbed a small wool blanket and covered the young man. Sam, the dog found a prime spot on the rug by the fire. Harold went to his small bedroom to lie down. While they napped, the fire kept burning with faint sounds of the wood crackling. The radio continued to play in the background as they fell asleep. 

In a short while they both woke up and the young man realized it was time to head back to his car while it was still light out. Harold was worried about the weather as it was still snowing and offered to drive him back to his car. As they headed back to the young mans car, the snow continued to fall. As he drove, Harold decided to go to the village on his way back home to get a cup of coffee and something to eat. It would save him having to cook something for dinner. 

Once they arrived by the young mans car they said their good byes and offered to stay in touch. Harold then made his way to the diner. He walked inside and found his favorite waitress, Marge. She was good at what she did and always took great care of him. He sat down at the counter and ordered a coffee and the dinner special which was beef stew.

As Harold sat and ate his dinner he thought over his day and the young man he had met. After he finished he topped his meal with a cup of hot coffee before going back outside into the snow and cold to head home.

None of his friends were currently at the diner. Many late afternoons he would meet them for coffee and a game of cards. But not this evening.

Once done, Harold signaled to Marge the waitress to bring his bill so he could settle up. After paying he took a slice of cherry pie with him for later and got into his car to drive back home to the cabin. As he drove, he took great care as it was still snowing. Once he arrived, he was greeted by his dog Sam. 

After he got settled, he sat down by the fire to watch the news and have some tea. As he was watching the news, Sam started barking at the door trying to get out. Harold didn’t know what was bothering him, so he opened the door to see what it was. He found Sam looking down at a small gray kitten that was sitting in the snow softly crying. The meows were barely audible. The kitten was tiny and terrified. It’s crying broke Harolds’ heart. Sam started making moaning noises. 

Sam looked up at Harold as if he wanted him to do something. He then went over to the kitten and picked it up without hurting it and carried it into the cabin. Harold then grabbed a towel to dry it off. The kitten was so cold and afraid it was trembling.

Harold then looked for something to give the kitten it to eat, as it must be hungry. He made some broth and also put down some water. Sam and Harold watched the kitten eating intently making sure it was alright. 

After eating, the kitten was tired and wanted to sleep. It had started to yawn and could barely keep its eyes open. So Harold put a blanket down by the fire for the kitten and it went to sleep. Sam laid down next to it and they both fell into a deep sleep. While they slept Harold contemplated names for the kitten and decided upon Muffy. With all it’s thick gray fur it kind of looked like ear muffs.

As it was still snowing and getting late, Harold decided it was time to go to bed himself. So he got ready and went to bed. Sam and Muffy slept by the fire that night while it continued to snow lightly outside. 

Tomorrow would be a brand new day full of possibilities. Harold was looking forward to it. Until sleep beckoned him.

When he awoke the next morning, Harold found both Sam the dog and Muffy the kitten still fast asleep. The fire had burned itself out during the night. It was just a few days till Christmas, so Harold was thinking about how he would spend his holiday. It had been hard since his wife’s passing. 

All of a sudden his phone rang, and it was the nice young man he had met the other day. He asked Harold if he could stop by later that afternoon by with something for him to repay his kindness. They made their arrangements and Harold went shopping to get some cookies and cakes. He was excited for the company as he was usually alone. He also got some food for Muffy the kitten.

As the time approached, Harold felt excited about the arrival of his company. He looked around the cabin and realized he had not really decorated for Christmas. He had lost interest in those things in recent years. His wife had always been the decorator before. He had never really gotten the hang of it.

Around 4pm the young man arrived at the cabin. He knocked on the door and waited for Harold to open it. When Harold opened the door he was greeted by the young man carrying a Christmas tree along with some goodies and decorations. Harold couldn’t believe it. 

Once inside the two of them set up the tree and went about decorating it. The finishing touch were the addition of the lights and a few strands of tinsel. Once they finished, Harold turned off the cabin lights so they could admire the tree. It looked beautiful. 

Harold made some tea for them to have with all the goodies. Then they by the fire talking and eating like two old friends. Sam the dog and Muffy the kitten slept on a rug not too far away from them. Sam kept one eye open to watch his master. The fire continued to burn and the wood crackled as they talked adding to the warm atmosphere.

After a while, it was getting close to dinner time so Harold invited the young man to have dinner with him at the local diner. They decided to go in Harolds car as he knew the way. Once there, they both chose the special of the day. As they sat eating, Marge the waitress came up to check on them and refresh their drinks. As it turned out the young man was going to the university and had heard about Harold before. He was so happy to have found him at the cabin. He had heard stories about him from older students and faculty. While there, Harold had become a bit of an urban legend.

After their meal Harold and the young man drove back to the cabin. Before leaving, the young man went to his car to get something he had left.

When he came back in to the cabin he handed Harold a Christmas package and said Merry Christmas. He told Harold the time he spent with him reminded him of his grandfather who had meant a lot to him. Harold was overwhelmed. He wasn’t expecting this. The young man said not to worry, Harold had already given him a wonderful gift, his kindness and friendship. The young man smiled at Harold and said “Merry Christmas. The real spirit is one about giving”. Harold wished the young man a merry Christmas and a happy holiday. As they parted, they both were happy that they each had found a new friend in the other. After the young man left, Harold went back inside and sat down by the fire. He looked over at Sam and Muffy and thought about how lucky he was and what a good day he had. He had been given one of the greatest gifts of all, a new friend.

Reviews

[JayG]

In this, you’re transcribing yourself telling the story to an audience. And when you read it back, you perform it, so it works perfectly. But verbal storytelling is a performance art, where how you tell the story matters as much as what you say. There are no actors, so the storyteller must supply the emotional component the performers would. But, how much of that performance makes to the page? Not a trace. So what the reader gets is what amounts to your storyteller’s script, minus the performance notes.

Have you computer's Narrator program read it aloud to you, to hear how different what the reader gets is from your intent, and what you hear as you read.

The thing we all forget is that Fiction-Writing is a profession, one they offer 4-year degree programs in the colleges. We’re taught none of the techniques of fiction in or school days, and surely some of what’s taught on the way to that degree must be necessary. Were it not, your library wouldn’t have had a section devoted to fiction-writing. Right?

Nonfiction writing has as its goal informing the reader, which you do here. As such, the techniques are fact-based and author-centric. The narrator, who cannot be heard, and so, has a dispassionate voice, reports and explains.

But fiction? As E. L. Doctorow put it: “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” And to do that takes a methodology that is emotion-based and character-centric, a set of skills that wasn’t mentioned as existing in most grade schools. And as Mark Twain so wisely said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” So it’s those “just ain’t so” issues that are getting in your way.

My personal suggestion as to the way to get rid of them is Dwight Swain’s, Techniques of the Selling Writer. I found it in 1985, and it’s still the best book I’ve found to date on the nuts-and-bolts issues of creating scenes that will sing to the reader, then linking them into a an exciting whole. After writing six, many times queried but never sold, novels, that book brought my first contract offer. Maybe it can do that for you.

At the moment, it’s free to download (copyright expired) at the site below. So grab a copy before they change their minds.

https://archive.org/details/TechniquesOfTheSellingWriterCUsersvenkatmGoogleDrive4FilmMakingBsc_ChennaiFilmSchoolPractice_Others

For what it may be worth, the articles in my WordPress writing blog are in large part, based on Mr. Swain’s teaching, and aimed at giving the hopeful writer a taste of the major differences between nonfiction and fiction.

I know this wasn’t what you were hoping to hear when you posted this. Who would? But since it’s something that tends to be invisible till pointed out, and is getting in your way, I thought you’d want to know.

So dig in. I think you’ll find yourself saying, “But that’s so…why didn’t I see something so obvious, myself?” That’s funny till the tenth time it happens.

But whatever you do, hang in there, and keep-on-writing. If nothing else, it keeps us off the streets at night.

Jay Greenstein.
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/