Hidden anomaly

I wrote a lot in my life,

I guess because words never disappear. 

So many things leaving me behind, but words stay, 

keep me alive, keep me near. 

I never wanted fame or publicity,

it is the feeling I need people to see,

the words behind words, they are not alone. 

Maybe it will help them realize

they don't need to do it on their own. 

I can go to my own Earth,

only my mind, my words, my pencil. 

A place without any dearth, 

but for how long am I safe there? 

I don't think it is long.

I know being there is not fair. 

I escape from reality. 

I escape from everything that is going wrong.

I don't need to feel humanity. 

I don't want to be in a cage holding me tight. 

I wont win this rage, I will disappear in the night.

Oh please keep me safe, I don't know how to behave. 

The dreams I have at night are worse. Is that my curse? 

Is my curse I cannot do anything right?

I cannot bring happiness for long? 

I am so tired of all the fights. What is it I do wrong? 

Running circles in my mind. 

What if it is someone else that I will find? 

Afraid of time, I know it wont lime, 

I have just four walls around me. 

No further I can see, I don't feel trust. 

Promises dissolve into rust. 

Maybe I am not doing it right, 

but no one is showing me the green light.

Author's Note

A different poem for a different individual.