Deep blue

Coming face to face with the wonderful inner space.

A memorable event for any courageous being.

At certain depths, there is no possible trace.

Scattering the color spectrum fast.

Allowing only some to pass, gasp.

The deepest fears and the deepest fish lie here.

One moment there is a luminescent glow.

The next, it reappears and disappears, it's folklore.

Explore until there is no sign of its core.

To prevent the hyperventilate, slow the breath.

To the place where ships have lost their fate.

Many unscathed artifacts are left to locate and excavate.

Inner space underrated, under the sea, coral reefs are created.

Different from outer space, each has its place, never duplicated.  

Reviews

[ChaoticSoul]

I like the last two lines the best. The imagery of being under the water, drowning in all that the poem entails is really nicely handled. It sets up some great imagery. My only suggestion would be that the line that reads "Explore until you cannot see no more" sets up a double negative with "cannot" and "no more" and it reads a little funny. Maybe either cannot see anymore or can see no more? Just a little grammatical suggestion! Still very nice work overall! :)

[Pencrafter]

I agree with reviewer 'ChaoticSoul'. The poem feels like you're skipping through time and space, briefly touching down on nature's gems.

[under-the-water]

whoaaa - nice job bro! i surf - and sometimes i ditch my board and dive under and open my eyes and look around - and you had a few lines that really stuck out to me in this poem about how i felt under the water. i am also really jealous of you cuz this whole thing rhymed - which makes it even more awesome. you got a thumbs up from me :)

[bluntdude]

lol, jealous? I don't know what my style of writing is. I do not group myself with a type of writing. I am still learning how to write and what to write about. And to think what I'm writing is even considered poetry or some brainstorm that resembles a rap music video.

[diaphanous]

interesting. it makes the reader think. you're writing has a nice rhythm and flow, good job.
also, is this about a bad trip? just curious.

[bluntdude]

Haha, this wasn't a bad trip. I wrote this more on the basis of deep sea really being overlooked. So many lovely things to discover under the sea. I just wanted to point that out. I'll improve.