Silence

My demons follow me
everywhere I go.
They're there when I
turn.
They're there when I
sleep.

I can't escape them.
They're always present,
constantly whispering
harmful things in my
ear.

Kill yourself.
You're worthless.
Everyone hates you.
S**t.

People whisper about
me.
"Did you see her? It
looks like she's on drugs!"
Rumors follow my
very step.

I can't get the
voices out of my
freaking head.
As many times as
I bang my head against
hard surfaces, the voices
don't go away.
They. Never. Stop.

I sit in front of the glass
that separates my father
and I.
I hold the contaminated,
plastic phone to my ear and listen.

"Baby, I'm going to be home soon.
Just two more months.
We'll be together again."

I don't know why I am visiting
him.
My absentee father doesn't
deserve to be visited...

I walk away.

Failure.
F****t.
Emo.
Slit yourself until you
go into the Unknown.

I bang my head against
the steering wheel.
I can't do this anymore.

Drive into that tree.
You'll be sure to die instantly.

I steer towards the tree.
No.
NO!
I try to reverse my suicidal
action.
I am emerged in black.

Hopsital is what I smell.
Beeping is what I hear.
Crinkled sheets is what I feel.
Morning breath is what I taste.
A doctor is what I see.

"We couldn't get ahold of
anyone for you, darling."
She said.
I nod.
I know she couldn't.

"Do you know where we
can call? Where do you live?"

I remain silent.
Silence is what got me
through life.
Silence is why I'm still living.
Silence is deafing.