Hi bluessadmood: It is apropos that I found you today because of the agreement between the US and Iraq; hopefully that's a good thing and will lead to a more secure and peaceful world. Though of course there are no easy answers and it is not known yet whether the US ultimately will sign the agreement since our Congress will have to approve. Thus, with that backdrop, it is all the more poignant to read this "story" of yours. It speaks to me of the triumph of the human spirit, of yours. Would that we all have that depth within us to draw out the light even in the midst of terrible darkness. I don't know whether you want any suggestions are not. I won't make any at this time, in case you don't, so as not to detract from the beauty you have shared. If you do want suggestions, let me know and I will share them with you.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
ohh my friend ,you will never know how we suffer ,thats how the beauty to these words..of all the wr.. read moreohh my friend ,you will never know how we suffer ,thats how the beauty to these words..of all the writers i read..i used to read about his life..only those who have really ,really suffered ,they came with the most beatiful writings
Stark. Beautifully bare. Honest about living with life's horrors. You are living because you can and enjoying what little there is. Thanks for sharing.
A true poem, strong feelings felt and nailed down without any fuss. You are in a difficult place yet you remain true to yourself. Yet the experience is becoming part of you you and testing you.
I like this, we all should be happy for we are alive and some of us are really blessed. And even one day we will die we should be happy for we tried and lived our life to the fullest.
i have to say, i have read a few of your posts, this being one of them of course, and i love the intimate feeling they all have, as if i'm reading your journal. you have a deft hand at placing phrases and images so it feels like your story is not just relatable to me, someone who knows only the things i have read of your world, but also gives a feeling that this story is one i know well..
It touches me to see that this factual, very honest and spiritual story is top of your writing. It's the truth and nothing but the truth of who you are. If people could only have the strength and belief to live as you do, with hope and determination, our world would be far, far better than it is.
An interesting piece on the human spirit. The repetition gives it a lyrical quality that is both smooth and jarring ('live' is such a harsh-sounding word in writing, but it also packs a lot of punch).
I would be careful of cramming too much 'stuff' into each sentence, as it clutters up the message of the line at times. For example "I get very sad at what I see every day, so much misery around, but I will laugh and I will live"
This piece serves as a reminder that survival means not only battling the external forces around you, but the internal ones as well. Pain and suffering are often not within our direct control; what is, is our ability to either let go of the pain or build on it.
I liked the repetition and the overall concept/flow.
Here is a rough draft edit. I deleted words like "very" as they generally don't add to writing and rephrased some key lines.
A friend told me once that he is surprised that I laugh,
that my writings and reviews are so happy and full of joy
while we lead such a terrible life.
Here came these thoughts...
No matter if the sky is cloudy, rainy and black. I will live.
No matter if my roads are bumpy full of never joyful rides. I will live.
So many explosions, bombings around me, leading a risky life. But I will live.
I am saddened by what I see every day, so much misery around, but I will laugh and I will live.
No matter how hard my life is, has ever been, or will continue to be, still, I will live.
And if I was caught between heavy fires, I always knew God was with me. And I lived.
But if by mistake I was hit, then I would laugh and say goodbye to life. Then I could not live.
Not any more.
And I will excuse those who brought us these ways, as before I die, I will laugh again, it's a stupid life anyway.....
This is my first time checking out your work. Forgive me, I don't know if you typically desire grammatical critiques or if that part of your writing is intended to be overlooked.
I am so inspired by your determination, not only to live but to laugh. With all we face in the world, it is amazing to realize we still have the choice as to our attitudes and actions. This is a powerful writing.
Oscar Wilde: "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."
The Music I like,the Carpenter,all their songs and albums,The Super Tramps,one of their songs ,reminds me of a girl who nearly broke my heart,still feel the pain ,no ,no i will not tell who
,I like t.. more..