Well if someone says don't read....well its human nature to want to take a look!
So taking a look I am doing ! LOL
Such a strong write, and no I didn't find it disgusting at all, just an honest
poem of emotions of turmoil and the consequence of a life that has not
been dealt good cards.
What's that expression? "Life's a b***h and then you die".
I like the poem. And a few of the others are right. lolz If you say "Don't Read!", it only makes people curious and want to read it even more. It really is a good poem though. :) Well written.
this is very puzzling i know..but since still very young when i touched and read the minds of some i came to know this..if you loved the material world then just stick to your well ordered
pretty much arranged life..but if you wanted adventurous life,life of a writer and a dreamer
then you should rip yourself from all the others ..its only when you no longer sleep your nights..when you never know anything about tomorrow..and nill of what it will bring you
you are completely blind to whats next to come..then you are on the right path to total chaos
the life of a dreamer..though in rags and may never fit anywhere..i know he is on the right
track to explore like no one other ever did..ha ha..i think my mind is all in chaos too,ha ha..this is a response to my friend review,R.J.Askew..thank you
Tis a lovely write, even though the subject matter is not.
Personally it makes me feel weak because my life is so orderered that I am in danger of collapse whenver I stray one tiny little bit from my ordered known. In my case order is a prison and predictability are the bars. I don't know if I cld live outside this prison.
In some ways chaos is Life. Life seems to love chaos and still survives. It is as if chaos tests life and only the best of life survives. But I don't know if this is correct. I think in ordered societies dullness survives. Order or chaos, we are never happy. The grass is always browner on the other side. Sigh. Great write from you.
You project power in describing the darkness and pain within you or in the fictional character you're projecting. Having said that you have technical issues with tense, i.e. "have" would have worked better than "having" in the first line. Plus your use of punctuation could have been better. But you capture emotion so well.
if you did not want anyone to read this, it should not have been published. there is an option to keep writing hidden from others on the site.
other than that, people know what it's like to feel comfort in that which brings nothing but misery, because as you said, it's all you've ever known. i can relate. you become so used to the hell of it all, the b***h of life, that when something bright comes along, it scares the crap out of you. you did a good job of relaying that to the readers. don't be afraid or ashamed to post work like this.
A good piece of work,a strong poem based probably on what you have had to live through in your own life.Not disgusting,but honest and powerful.One of the best
things I`ve read on this site.Great.
Brilliant. This poem delivers a powerful, important message. It shows, exceptionally well, how people perpetuate pain because it's what's familiar. This is the absolute truth of pretty much every problem in the world. People become stuck in cycles of pain and suffering because it is what they know - as you have so eloquently illustrated with this poem - they fear the unknown, the unfamiliar, more than their own pain. I don't know if this is what you were trying to get across but it's the message in your poem regardless, maybe a message to yourself even. The message teaches us how and why we get trapped in suffering. The answer to that suffering then becomes clear - make the choice; do you dare to leap into the unknown and risk losing your "home" for the possibility of shedding your pain? I did and I highly recommend it :)
The Music I like,the Carpenter,all their songs and albums,The Super Tramps,one of their songs ,reminds me of a girl who nearly broke my heart,still feel the pain ,no ,no i will not tell who
,I like t.. more..