all in vain

i sat in the forest ,by a tree,i wept and cried
she said my lord: what is all this, why so sad
i said i know this life is not for me
she said why my lord just look at me ,come lets rejoice
life, so much beauty i see,or are you blind
And i laughed ,look who speaks ,you see much joy i do not see
tell me what you like, so happy i can not be
she says:look at the sky so blue above look at the green grass ,its our carpet ,
come lets lie down and make love to me
you always said you liked me ,look at the birds
flying and singing,taking care of their siblings,come lets make love and have your blood in me
so i can give you joy and breeds,
brighten your life even if black you see
And I say:so its white or black you think
oh my lord its but all black ,but we pretend
that we see non but joy
we live not but happy
the best i give is love come lets make lots
love is so little here,its like a desert
come give me love so the score goes up
its so scanty i will choke
oh dear little one,i say ,whats so nice you find in me ,i am rotting
oh but you are wise, so wise to me ,i
want my breed come from you ..
is that all you can see:I say
bring more misery even more
but its my job my lord ,i have to bring them more
and I say: you think one will break the rules and come happy
no never ,thought i,i know you right
she said..

Author's Note

just words in vain

Reviews

[L.G. Knight]

Ok On the second read.... Thanks for entering it in two of my contest by the way.... On the second read I just had to edit. I hope you take it the way it is ment, as a helpful suggestion and not in any bad way but but here is how I edited it once I read it though this was it was much easier to read...



"I sat in the forest, by a tree, I wept and cried
She said "My lord what is all this, why so sad?"

I said "I know this life is not for me."
She said "Why? My lord just look at me ,come lets rejoice
life, so much beauty I see, or are you blind?"
I laughed "Look who speaks, you see much joy I do not see.
Tell me what you like, so happy I can not be."

"Look at the sky; so blue above, look at the green grass; it's our carpet,
come lets lie down and make love to me.
You always said you liked me. Look at the birds;
flying and singing, taking care of their siblings. Come let's make love and have your blood in me
so I can give you joy and breeds,
brighten life even if black you see."

"So its white or black you think?"

"Oh my lord its but all black, but we pretend
that we see non but joy,
we live non but happy,
the best I give is love come lets make lots.
Love is so little here, its like a desert
come give me love so the score goes up,
it's so scanty I will choke."

"Oh dear little one, what's so nice you find in me? I am rotting."

"Oh but you are wise so to me, I
want my breed come from you so."

"Is that all you can see
bring more misery even more."

"But its my job my lord, I have to bring them more."

"You think one will break the rules and come happy?"

"No; never, thought I, I know you're right."
She said"


You don't have to use it it is just a suggestion but there it is... Very wonderful little conversation piece... leaves open so much for the imagination.... really well done!

~Frances~

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

This is interesting. ^^ It's quite complex when I read it. It's also very romantic in my mind. :) Thank you very much for posting.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Emily B]

Words are never in vain. Each message starts tiny ripples that will someday turn into waves of change.

[L.G. Knight]

Would be loevely if you seperated stanzas and we could tell who is saying what more structure would make it easier to read, Its very very lovely though!

~Frances~