all in vain

i sat in the forest ,by a tree,i wept and cried
she said my lord: what is all this, why so sad
i said i know this life is not for me
she said why my lord just look at me ,come lets rejoice
life, so much beauty i see,or are you blind
And i laughed ,look who speaks ,you see much joy i do not see
tell me what you like, so happy i can not be
she says:look at the sky so blue above look at the green grass ,its our carpet ,
come lets lie down and make love to me
you always said you liked me ,look at the birds
flying and singing,taking care of their siblings,come lets make love and have your blood in me
so i can give you joy and breeds,
brighten your life even if black you see
And I say:so its white or black you think
oh my lord its but all black ,but we pretend
that we see non but joy
we live not but happy
the best i give is love come lets make lots
love is so little here,its like a desert
come give me love so the score goes up
its so scanty i will choke
oh dear little one,i say ,whats so nice you find in me ,i am rotting
oh but you are wise, so wise to me ,i
want my breed come from you ..
is that all you can see:I say
bring more misery even more
but its my job my lord ,i have to bring them more
and I say: you think one will break the rules and come happy
no never ,thought i,i know you right
she said..

Author's Note

just words in vain

Reviews

[L.G. Knight]

Ok On the second read.... Thanks for entering it in two of my contest by the way.... On the second read I just had to edit. I hope you take it the way it is ment, as a helpful suggestion and not in any bad way but but here is how I edited it once I read it though this was it was much easier to read...



"I sat in the forest, by a tree, I wept and cried
She said "My lord what is all this, why so sad?"

I said "I know this life is not for me."
She said "Why? My lord just look at me ,come lets rejoice
life, so much beauty I see, or are you blind?"
I laughed "Look who speaks, you see much joy I do not see.
Tell me what you like, so happy I can not be."

"Look at the sky; so blue above, look at the green grass; it's our carpet,
come lets lie down and make love to me.
You always said you liked me. Look at the birds;
flying and singing, taking care of their siblings. Come let's make love and have your blood in me
so I can give you joy and breeds,
brighten life even if black you see."

"So its white or black you think?"

"Oh my lord its but all black, but we pretend
that we see non but joy,
we live non but happy,
the best I give is love come lets make lots.
Love is so little here, its like a desert
come give me love so the score goes up,
it's so scanty I will choke."

"Oh dear little one, what's so nice you find in me? I am rotting."

"Oh but you are wise so to me, I
want my breed come from you so."

"Is that all you can see
bring more misery even more."

"But its my job my lord, I have to bring them more."

"You think one will break the rules and come happy?"

"No; never, thought I, I know you're right."
She said"


You don't have to use it it is just a suggestion but there it is... Very wonderful little conversation piece... leaves open so much for the imagination.... really well done!

~Frances~

[ashish hajagulkar]

Nice way expressing thought about life

[bluessadmood]

Thank you this was one I wrote so way back..
One of the first few lines..
Even though so glad to know that you liked it

[A.A.Romanczuk]

Hmm...reminds me of ...hmm...it is a little like Under the Lindens by...by...oh...dear..I want to say Walther von der Vogelweide..but alas my memory fails me...except it had not the despair over the life element...ah I love the idea of ...the triviality of making love and progeny as you ponder philosopical notions and the problems of life...but then when she mentions that it is her job...oh dear..no, no, no...a blessed choice...a job...I cannot agree but those are my silly thoughts :)

[Vanessa Whiteley]

This reminds me of the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

Here with a Loaf of Bread beneath the Bough,

A Flask of Wine, a Book of Verse and Thou

Beside me singing in the Wilderness

And Wilderness is Paradise enow.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A lovely poem, well written and expressed. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Helena]

This is beautiful writing. It had an old world feel to which I found
profound and endearingly lovely.

One of your best...

Helena ;)

I keep finding them, but this may be the last???? (I hope not!)

[Ankhesen Mié]

"love is so little here,its like a desert
come give me love so the score goes up
its so scanty i will choke"

You described my work as having deep sadness, but the true despair is here, with you. You know the perfect way to word it sometimes; you know just the right imagery. You too have a gift, my friend.

[Pink Poison]

I liked this...I like the idea of an older man who is very cynical about life and love, but also strangely impassioned, by the thought of making "lots of love" perhaps to drown the feelings of hopelessness for just a time. The younger woman, sees the black too, but finds the world more bearable by far...I especially liked the lines:

the best i give is love come lets make lots
love is so little here, its like a desert
come give me love so the score goes up
its so scanty i will choke
oh dear little one ,what so nice you find in me ,i am rotting

Very compelling words.

[Gandré]

This poem is about the inner monologue what one has with his inner watcher. It is about the way would like to go but the conscience wouldn't let him go. so, all the love they had for each other was perhaps a forbidden love and they didn't have a solution...perhaps they wouldn't like to bring unhappiness over others and themselves...I thought she was loving, she didn't want to break anything, she was waiting silently even she desperately needed him. impassioned and fighting with what is right and what is wrong... loved it.

[Angel's Lady]

i sat in the forest ,by a tree,i wept and cried

All in vain.

I guess the title says it all, doesn't it?