three practice poem's

Some of my first exercise's that I have finished. I am a new writer still learning. This is my first post.

Poverty

We don’t notice
That much is clear
For if we saw
Than we would care
But not enough
Of us care
When we see
Because if
 we were to stop
And think
About it
Than we would
See That
It could
Be me
Who is just
A paycheck
Away from
Being one
Of
Them.


The old river

I was here
When the  dinosaurs were only here
When the Indians were the only man
Living here
I saw the white man ship’s come
I saw the war’s with the Indians
The slave ship’s
The war between North and South
The civil right’s movement
I witness the alien that land in Roswell
And when the world come’s to an  end
I will
Witness it
Too!


My dog

My best friend
Never judges
Doesn’t speak
Always’ happy
To be
With me
When I leave  
He’s sad
When I come home
He jump with joy
My protector
My buddy
My child who I’ve raised
He been by my side
From day one
And will be
Faithfully
By my side
Where every
I shall go
No matter
What.

Author's Note

I am just staring to learn to write poetry and short stories. So this is three of the first poem's that I have ever written. I want people to comment on my work and tell me how I'm doing so far. As a writer I am new to this so all the advice I get is welcome. I want to learn as much as possible from the other writer's here.

Reviews

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

For your first poems you did very well. I will enjoy to see your work as you continue to write. Honestly, when it comes to advice re: poetry.....Read alot of it! See how every writer writes differently. We all think differently, feel dieffrently, want differently as so we write diffrently. Relax sit back close your eyes .......breath and allow us (the reader) to follow you through your journey. Thank you.

[mariah]

this is pretty good for a first poem! im excited to see how you develop as a writter. if you would like some advice, i think that you should join some of thel stanzas together. it would even out the poem and make it flow more easily. other then that though, good job! :)
-mariah