Insolent stranger

Just insolent

Hey! you insolent stranger
Who arrived yestereve
Wet soaked to feet with
Grumbling stomach, pouchless
Or where is your hidden treasure?
We served you our hides
You see rich coat,
We served you our meal
You see fertile vegetation,
We served you our water
You see oil and salt,
In our beast you see ivory,
Husk and ceramics concoctions
In our men you see bravery,
Endurance and slavery.
In our maid elegant like cleopatra
Modest like calypso, but you see
Pleasure and silence to their head,
In our rocks you see jewelry
And ornaments you have not.
Who are you accursed one?
Who stir confusion amongst our people?
Our people who bathe In the
Large niger, river of naivety
And benue of ancestor's realm
Who are you?
Oh who are you?
Who startle us from our long
Sleep and left us neither awake
Or asleep blind nor deaf
Yet yours is what we see
As we labell our fetish obsolete.

Reviews

[JayG]

The majority of the story, what shuld be on the page, is still in your head, so the reader has no context,'

Yes, you're railing against what you see as injustice. But you give the reader no context. So where you see linkages and deep meaning, the reader sees only "Huh?"

[BAMBE ABASS ABIDEMI]

Thanks for your review. I will be glad if you can tutor me on how to potray the real context in poetry works. Though I wrote this few months ago and I can't really remember what I was thinking then but as you have said that the reader won't be able to comprehend anything makes me feel this is not worth reading then. So if you could help with some clues, hint or any help to improve on this, I will surely appreciate you.
Thanks once again.

[JayG]

That's easy. Read Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. The lady is brilliant. And the book is filled with little things we'd not think of, ourselves, like why we sometimes say "rock," and others "stone" for the same thing.

You can download a readable PDF copy (though not on a phone) from the website below.

https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

[BAMBE ABASS ABIDEMI]

Thanks a lot.