Ending: Chapter Seven

Sparrow visits Sapphire for the first time in weeks, learning that she has a higher chance of living but still feeling as if this was entirely his fault.

Author's Note: Sorry for all the crap at the beginning of this chapter, with paragraphs and paragraphs of nothing but thinking.  I'M SORRY.  Sparrow tends to think.  A lot.  So SHUTUP and READIT.  Kthxbai :] Muahaha, I stole yet another thing from chu, Cheezit... Also, this chapter is sorta angsty, but not much.  I know, I should have another angst freak out... That'd be awesome.  xD

Don't turn away

Don't give in to the pain
Don't try to hide
Though they're screaming your name
Don't close your eyes
God knows what lies behind
Don't turn out the light
Never sleep never die
- Whisper by Evanescence

Right after he opened his eyes that morning, Sparrow immediately closed them again.

He felt so tired that morning that it wasn't even funny, he realized, as he rolled over onto his other side and opened his eyes slightly.  After the light hit his eyes, he closed them again, yet tightly this time, so he wouldn't be able to see anything whatsoever.  Sparrow took a deep breath, his head beginning to throb for some reason.  Gritting his teeth, he struggled to stand up and opened his eyes, trying to ignore the pounding that still lingered in his head.  

And then, Sparrow thought of something that made his eyes light up.  Sapphire.  He hadn't visited her in several days, and she probably thought by now that he had abandoned her or didn't care about her survival anymore.  But truthfully, he had forgotten.  There had been a lot on his mind in the past few days, considering that he now had more to think about.  Now, he wanted to know for sure who Sunset's mate was.  After all, she had been keeping her mate a secret for six years now.  It wasn't odd for anyone to be curious about something like that - everyone wondering why she kept it a secret.  And now, Sparrow had figured out that her last litter was another mate, different from the first one.  

Usually, wolves stayed partners for life.  Not according to Sunset, at least, unless her secret mate had died or something.  And that's exactly why Sparrow thought that Blizzard and Sunset had fallen in love at some point in the time they'd been together.

It was true that Sunset had always kept to herself about everything, as everyone knew.  But usually, she wasn't this private about things.  It was strange that she had kept who her mate was a secret for so long, because since most wolves were partners for life, they had to be seen at some point.

He started to go through other possible ideas in his head, frowning slightly.  Blizzard, Blizzard, and Blizzard were the only possibilities that Sparrow could think of, completely honestly.  He had seem them fight before.  But he had also seen the way that they looked at each other, and seen the way that they spoke of each other when they didn't want to murder each other.  There was something about them that just had "pair" written all over it; there was no way to deny that, as no wolf could.  Sunset had denied it, but she was lying, Sparrow knew.  She just had to have been lying.  Because, honestly, who else would be her mate?

Ridge?  Oak?  Storm?  Sparrow's eyes lit up slightly as he thought of three other possibilities, believing that the third was most likely out of the other two.  Storm had been alone for four years now; he had to have gotten lonely at some time.  He was barely ever seen around here anymore; the last time anyone had really seen him for most of the day was the search for Crystal and the battle following it.  He kept to himself lately; well, he had been doing that for several years now, but no one really seemed to care or notice for that matter.  Except for Moon, of course.  She was the only one who constantly checked on him to make sure that he hadn't killed himself out of sorrow over Rain, which he had held onto for all these years.  It was odd, but Sparrow knew that if something like that happened to Opaque or Sapphire he would probably do the same thing.

There still was a chance, though. 

Sparrow started to doubt the Ridge or Oak thing when he remembered that they were younger than Sunset - she was eight years old now after she became that old in the early spring, a mere few weeks ago.  Ridge and Oak were - two years younger than she was, the age of Sparrow and most of the other wolves.  That was less likely than Storm, even.  And that was already pretty unlikely.

Bored, Sparrow decided to visit Sapphire for the first time in quite a while.  He hoped nervously that it wouldn't end up like that last time that he visited her, which was emotionally traumatic for both of them.  Now, he assumed that her injuries looked slightly better, if not healed a bit, and that she wasn't coughing and hacking as much as before.

Walking into Moon's den, where Sapphire had been staying for the last couple weeks, he met the eye of the three-legged she-wolf, who looked at him suspiciously.

"Another dream?" was Moon's first sentence.

Sparrow rolled his eyes.  "No.  But can I see Sapphire?"

Moon nodded.  "It's been a while since you've visited her," she said, starting to walk back with Sparrow following her.

"I never felt like it," Sparrow muttered quietly, and Moon scoffed. 

As they came to the tunnel where they would turn to see her "den" in there, Sparrow took a deep breath.  "Is she...?"

"Healed?  Well, yes and no," Moon whispered.  "She's asleep now, I think, but she'll wake up when she sees or hears you.  She's been coughing less, but when she talks her voice is raspy and unusually quiet for her.  The injury on her front leg is better, but not completely healed."

Sparrow nodded slowly, wondering if he'd be able to handle seeing her this time without losing his composure.  He watched Moon turn and head back to the front of the tunnel and turn left into the place where she slept every night, the front of the den.

He reached his head in through the den opening, seeing Sapphire lying towards the back of the den this time.  She was on her right side, facing towards him, her eyes shut peacefully.  Sparrow saw her twitch her left paw quickly, and stretch slightly, but other than that she was completely motionless, besides her chest rising and falling.  Her breathing sounded hoarse and soft, softer than usual, which he knew that he didn't have reason to be concerned about. 

Suddenly, just as Sparrow was thinking about turning back and leaving her for a while, Sapphire's nose twitched.  She did this when she smelled something, as he knew from watching her track prey, so she must have noticed the different scent in there.  Usually the only wolf she could smell was Moon, so this was odd.  Frowning with closed eyes, Sapphire stirred slightly, finally opening her mouth in a yawn and sitting up.

Her eyes met his quickly.  "It's been a while since I've seen you," Sapphire pointed out, observing her healing leg wound.  It looked better, but not much. 

Sparrow bit his lip, fighting the irresistible urge to completely freak out like that last time he met with her.  Slowly nodding, he attempted to speak.  "You haven't forgiven me yet," he said quietly.

Sapphire sat up straighter, shaking her head in dismay.  "Don't blame this on yourself," she pleaded.  "I can't handle that again."

Sparrow ignored her.  "Sapphire, it was all my fault, no matter which way you look at it," he replied in a low voice.  "I hate seeing you stuck in here with nothing to do, because sometimes you d-don't even have the strength to -"

"No, no, no," Sapphire interrupted.  "That is not that truth.  Sparrow, I don't want what happened last time... to happen again."

Sparrow let out a shaky sigh, slumping down into a sitting position.  "But what if -"

"Shut up."

"Sapphire, I -"

"Shut up," Sapphire growled.  "I don't care about what happens to me at this point, because -"

"No! Don't say that," Sparrow cut in desperately.  "That's like saying you want to..." His voice trailed off.

Sapphire shook her head.  "You don't understand, do you?" she muttered hastily.  "I'm saying that I don't care about what happens to me, because... it's not like anyone else would care."

Sparrow was shocked.  "Sapphire!" he yelled.  "Do you know what you're saying?!  You being stuck in here for so long must be effecting your MIND."

Sapphire shook her head violently, shutting her eyes until she stopped moving.  "No," she said.  "Do you know that the only wolf who has been visiting me every day is Moon?  And that's only because she has to!  If she didn't, the other wolves would hate her and not trust her for letting me die without trying to prevent it."  She finished abruptly, satisfied with what she had just said. 

But of course, the stubborn black wolf to the left of her had something to say about this.  "Sapphire!  Are you insane?  The pack wouldn't be the same without you," Sparrow told her, his eyes wide.  "Just think about it.  With you gone... we would never survive."

"No, Sparrow," Sapphire argued.  "I haven't left this den in weeks, and you all seem to be doing perfectly fine without me.  No one's even asked about me, according to Moon," she finished hoarsely.  "It's l-like they don't even notice."

The entire time, Sparrow was staring at her with pure confusion and sorrow.  With every word she said, it felt like a stab to his heart, which was barely beating anyway.  He would have spoken if he was able to get any words out, but he stayed silent, her words echoing in his mind.  It's like they don't even notice.

Sparrow shook his head quickly, still not sure if he was able to speak yet.  For now, all he could do was hold back his nearly always invisible emotions, clenching his jaw in effort to keep quiet. But it didn't work.

The words came spilling out of Sparrow along with a steam of all emotions that were possible.  He felt shocked, betrayed, furious, and helpless all at once, and it didn't help that his throat was tightening every second.

"How could they?" he spat furiously, fighting the urge to kill them all right now.  "How... how could they act so selfish?!"

Sapphire opened her mouth as if to speak, but Sparrow silenced her with an angry glare.  He was enraged, more than he had ever been, so full of pure shock and disbelief that the other wolves were acting as if Sapphire didn't exist when she was fighting for her life.  All because of... him.

Perhaps if Sparrow had gotten Sapphire out safely along with the other wolves during the wildfire, they could all be down by the river now.  They could be hunting or exploring around that morning for no apparent reason.  But now, Sparrow refused to go anywhere with the pack again without Sapphire there from now on.  He didn't want to lose another wolf because of some stupid mistake that he made.

Although he hadn't lost her yet, he had lost the old Sapphire.  And Sparrow knew he would never get her back.

~ ~ ~

Sparrow had left the part of the den where Sapphire stayed, walking furiously up to the front of it.  He finally reached the confused silver she-wolf who lived there, staring at her.

"I thought I heard yelling back there," Moon told him.  "Did you two get into an argument?"

Sparrow ignored that question.  "Sapphire says that no one's been visiting her or even caring enough to ask about her except for you, and me sometimes," he fumed.  "Now she feels like she's not important in this pack, and that we'd do fine if she was... g-gone."

Moon narrowed her eyes, looking confused and hesitant at the same time.  She sighed finally, dropping down to a sitting position.  "I thought she knew," she replied.

"Knew what?" Sparrow demanded.

"That I told everyone to stay away from her for a while."

"What?!" Sparrow responded, outraged.  "Why?!"

Moon stiffened up defensively, an apologetic squeal escaping from her mouth.  "I had to," she muttered.  "I assumed that the others would be... traumatized, by seeing how badly she was effected by the wildfire.  I thought that, because you were the leader, you'd be strong enough to see her without..." She trailed off.

"Moon, I've either cried or almost cried both times that I've seen her," Sparrow said seriously.  "Just because I'm the 'leader' and I'm supposed to be as emotionless as Leader was doesn't mean that I can handle it well."

Moon looked surprised for a moment.  "...Oh," she responded.  "Well... I didn't know that.  I just thought that you were as emotionless as Leader."

"No," Sparrow muttered, tired of being compared to Leader.  "How much of a percent chance does Sapphire have of living now?"

Moon frowned, then responded.  "Sixty percent chance," she said slowly.  "I'm not sure.  If I were you, I would take your mind off of there being even the slightest possibility of her death...  Tomorrow, just relax."

Author's Note

I started to get writer's block after "Moon looked surprised for a moment" at the end, so that's why the chapter finished so abruptly. D: Tips/suggestions and comments, por favor.

Reviews

[r]

First of all, it's alright that you stole "kthxbye" from me. Besides, you change it to "bai" at the end. BUT WTF. I MUST BE AWESOME CAUSE EVERYONE ALWAYS STEALS MY WORDS. XDD

Anywhooo, I f*****g love this chapter. It's great; I love the thing where Sparrow is obsessed with Sunset's sex life. It MIGHT be Storm, but I still wish it was Blizzard. But, knowing you, it will probably be someone nobody even thought of. Oh wells.

And ONWARD, I love the Sapphy and Sparrow conversation and how he gets all angry that nobody seems to even care, and how Sapphy is all depressed, but I want the old Sapphy back! I WANT HER BACK, D****T. And then the Moon thing is funny. It made me LOL, 'cause I was like "ha. ha. Moon made Sapphy angsty and emo-ish and think no one cared". Funny, funny, funny.

And f*****g writer's block! IT NEEDS TO DIE. and i cant believe it took you like FOREVER to write this. CHUR SUPPOSED TO WRITE A BOOK IN A DAY. ZEESH! lolol jkjk, but writers block HAS TO DIE!!!!! and i absolutely loved this f*****g chapter!!! :D

[halflives]

OOHS SAPPHIRE/SPARROW MOMENT. You wouldn't take Sapphire from us, would you? No, because that would be mean. And Maddie's not mean.
...Is she?

[נнα&p..]

OHMYGOD I LUFF THIS CHAPTER.

[Rayne~Drop.]

YAY! YOU DON'T DIE! ...For now... XD It bothers me that Sparrow is still obsessed with Sunset's sex life. o.e But it's funny at the same time. XD Moon is f*****g forgetful. Or, Sapphy has short term memory loss. Sparrow is over-emotional like I was at the assembly in school today and I love it. :D And...Storm has mental issues, and needs meds for his depression. Love, as usual...And that's it because I can't think of anything else. :D lol XD WRITE. FAST. Cuz Writer's Block is a b***h, you can take a little longer. XD