Can't Breathe

Ever imagine what that would be like? Just the slow hopelessness of it all. Leave a comment if you liked it!

Can't breathe can't goddamn breathe, I can't move can't see and I'm tasting mud and dirt and I think I'm face-down but I can't tell anymore ever since the world fell down on me, I can't move and everything hurts and I'm warm and sticky and so thirsty, thirsty thirsty thirsty, I need cool, clear, water, I need to get out, and I need to see I NEED TO SEE I CAN'T SEE

 

Can't even breathe, it hurts to breathe there's no room to breathe, I told them again and again and again and again that it wasn't safe that it was old and disused and it wasn't safe and miners would die if they sent them in there but they did it anyway because they didn't listen to me, and Gerrick is screaming and screaming and screaming somewhere further away pounding in my brain eating me eating me I need to eat but I can't move just make him shut up make it go away stop screaming

 

Can't even breathe because the weight of the world is on my shoulders, my world, it's been minutes hours days weeks months years seconds nothing, only my own ragged gasping to tell the time, it sounds wrong somehow all thick and sludgy and wrong and Gerrick stopped screaming, only my own ragged gasping now, and someone's going to come for us, someone's going to come but everything's so dark please just let me see

 

Can't goddamn breathe, just get off me for one second so I can breathe please, my mind is playing tricks tricks tricks sounds are everywhere but nowhere, everything's just happening so fast, I think of something and it just
slips
away
what's the damn sun look like I can't remember and that's a sound, not a trick no no no no no no it's a sound, scraping and scrabbling and shifting metal on concrete on stone on rock, and a VOICE, scream scream scream I just need to open my mouth and shout but I can't just can't shout my throat is wrong it doesn't work, all that comes out is a croak like a stupid frog in a pond, don't go away I can HEAR YOU I'M DOWN HERE YOU'RE NOT DONE YOU'RE WRONG THERE IS SOMEONE DOWN HERE I'M DOWN HERE I CAN HEAR YOU but you can't hear me

 

No one's coming

 

What's her name? I need to remember her name. Maria, Maria, I'm sorry, you never liked me going down here, you were right all along. Please take care of the kids, Maria. I'm sorry, I want to, but I just can't breathe anymore.

Reviews

[Saichiro Wolftotem]

This is really claustrophobic. I like the effect and the lack of information that would normally be infuriating is, in this case, intriguing. The only thing I would change is the beginnings of the paragraphs, but that may just be me. It's probably intentional.

[blubbityblub]

Thank you very much for the review :) this was just a bit of fun for me, to exercise my imagination a little. If you are referring to the repetition of "can't breathe", it is intentional :) of course there is always room for improvement. Thank you for the review once again, as a new writer i didn't think I'd get much attention :)