This Christmas?

I remember Christmas as a child, when my hair grew long and wild.

 

I remember Christmas when I was small, when I believed I could fly, and never fall when all my troubles were only the fear of coal in a stocking, or soot on my shoes Not todays sad song and blues.

 

I remember a Christmas when from my rosy nose, down to my little toes. That special feeling twinkled all down through.

 

Today, Christmas it seems.. Is nothing more to me than the cold blow of broken dreams, hearts, ripped at the seams. I'm all poured out, not like this joy I'm supposed to feel, it seems my younger days to return, it seems they were never real.

 

In those days, a Wish would come true, and Santa and Jesus would always pull through, I'd always be safe, with my mom and my dad, Nothing would ever happen, at least nothing bad.

 

In these days my mom has a lacking in existance, whenever I want to go see her she puts up resistance. I'm still the baby she used to hold, I'm still the same person at 16-years-old..

 

Ever day since this dear old season started I've been thinking of reasons why my spirit has departed,

Maybe my heart is too torn to stay, left million different threads, starting to fray. If I could I'd tie it into a bow, give it to you, then tell you a "Hello." then with a burden A solemn Goodbye,

 

Christmas this time, just makes me want to cry.

 

 

Reviews

[MrKnowAll]

I think the poem represents exactly the question mark in the title. The feeling of sadness is so strong that it got the happy face I had when I opened the page.

Only problem I find here ( in my opinion ) , is that there is no understanding or resolution; As if this sensation is forever.

[quarintine_deathangel]

The last Christmas I had with Kay Kay I felt a LOT like this. It's kind of you just know what you used to have and when it's gone then moving on to new scenery and a different world seems unreal and impossible. A part of life that stinks is especially dealing with those who passed that aren't coming back accept for their memories. Sad to say though you have to enjoy the time you have so when people do go, you have the memories untill you finally see them again. ^.~ Thankyou for writing, this is pretty relatable.