What Was Long Ago.

This is a story about a girl and her first love. Though they had something in the beginning, it eventually faded and turned into simply a relationship of lust. This is her story, shortened of course.

Contradicting life-

you had a way with words,

you had a way with sensuality.

Above all- you had a way of understanding.

 

There I sat in the field,

darkness covering the corn maze, shrowding my soul-

dwelling in loneliness was I,

caught unexpected when you spoke to me,

the first person who ever knew the art of listening,

and could practice it so well.

 

Thinking back on it now,

I can still feel the cold air freezing my hands immoblie-

can still remember how lost we were and how I didn't care in the least-

can still hear you speaking about something I never had the chance of understanding.

Yes, remembering this, I can still feel your presence next to me.

 

The days that followed went just as good,

for every time my heart sought yours in those beloved green-brown eyes,

it pounded against my rib cage,as fast as a humingbird's flapping wings.

And every time we embraced was enough to make me happy through all my sadness.

 

It wasn't too soon before I began to rely on you for happiness,

to put a smile to my face distorted with anguish.

And each day you weren't there to greet me

was another day my heart twisted, writhed in agony.

It was a pain much worse than the slice a razor could ever give.

 

Our intimacy grew with the trust that began to build

and before long I was able to feel your lips upon mine between the two of us

in that elevator,

then again, by the hall.

I reminded you of your current lover.

You only shrugged.

I think this was when something of us was lost.

 

The next day you left school with your lover,

looking back once, twice, five times at me.

I nodded my head and smiled-

as if telling you to go have a blast.

Little did I know this would be the beginning of the end

of any hopes I carried for us.

 

Shortly after, you lost contact, moved schools.

Each day I didn't see you a part of my heart died,

and with it, a piece of me.

 

The next time we really talked, several months later,

you seemed interested in seeing me-

what I mistook for innocent fun, you had a sexual mind for.

We met the next day-

as I had gone over to cheer you up.

 

What was supposed to be laughing and smiling

turned into kissing and touching.

You had needs to be filled- I had someone of my own back home.

An interference stopped us from risky behavior.

 

But what did you care?

You were a party of one.

And although you asked constantly if it was what I wanted,

pleasing me was most likely not your intention.

And because I had agreed-

the guilt was mine and none your own.

 

Many months passed by

with no words from you-

until once again I came in contact with you.

We made plans to hang out, only I didn't fall through,

for I knew the consequences.

 

Now, as before, we aren't on speaking terms-

and you, my old darling, have a lover anew.

I feel like I ruined us, by my desires.

Perhaps if I didn't tell you how I felt,

and filled your head with ideas,

we would still be friends.

 

I wish we were because

losing you as a lover hurt,

but losing you as a friend hurt much more.

and losing you forever was almost, almost too much to bear,

but I think I'm ready to fall in love again,

for I now have my heart back.

 

Just please, if you ever lay eyes upon me again and remember who I am,

don't take my heart again.

Author's Note

It's fairly long, and not a normal poem, rather a story-poem.

Reviews

[Ashley]

OMG! ITS FABULOUS! i can really relate. each sentence was amazing and i totally agree that losing a friend hurts and each time you dont see your love breaks your heart. amazing! just absolutely amazing. love hurts a lot, too much. this piece really showed the feeling.

[Amethy]

beautiful, sad, and filled with courage and strength I don't think many of us have anymore. I loved how it flowed together, painting a picture in my mind, but still having that wonder of what to do next. I am able to relate to what is being said, losing a friend, but I've never lost a love, for I've only ever had one in my life. the ending I think have some of the most strongest words one ex-love could say to another. as for the story line gave a small taste, leaving you wanting more, and I loved every bit of it.