Eyes opened

I'm back on the perks, so deep that it hurts, s***s  grim on the streets, so many friends I watched leave in a hurse so I don't even rehurse I just reep with my words, f*****g cold out here and I'm heated my f*****g hearts buried in Jerz, think I just wrote this s**t so you can read it and like it, I'm a story teller and these letters are the tale off my life I don't even like that I write it. I fear for my people's life every good damn time they leave my sight cuz since I left I lost 15 to an addiction I wasn't around to help them fight. I don't believe in God but for them I still pray every single night.. man, Sasha was my last straw, since high school we was tight, smoke before school, go into our self contained class, drink after school day in and day out, used to tell her she's my roll dog, I can still here her laugh. She would pull more chicks than I did, and every b***h was bad. Sash was good people , my people, a girl that in my eyes had no f*****g equal... And I was no where around, 6 years went by since I left for Florida. Than I seen it on face book, high as f**k on Molly having the time of my life than boom I hit the floor, went in my room and boom, I literally hit the floor. First to tile I swung till I couldn't take it anymore. Denied it, I was high as s**t I mean honestly I was f*****g ripped so I called people just to make sure.. I claim to be a lion all the time but this was the first time I actually roared. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend the whole night crying... See I realized that time is precious, and not being around , not again I won't let this happen, I hold enough resentment, so I came back but wasnt ready for what Jersey now is, the walking dead, heroins relentless. Like how the f**k did it come to this? Even to get clean they can't run from it, dealer to dealer, I'm tempted to dump the pump in the chumps that's pumping it, , slump umm in the slums with slugs and have fun with it.. it's bad out here. I've lost enough ones I love in the past six years, I'm done with this.