Dosent Make It Musik

Instrumentals on, doesn't make it music, 

I'm not a f*****g rapper, I'm just writing new s**t 

Find the words amusing, curses don't get muted 

F*****g rip this s**t, b***h what the f**k do you think

I tell it how it is, yet a story tellers music

Metaphors and blueprints, 

Mechs destroyed, your loosing

Metallic pulse in shoe prints

Magnetic tech in two rings, a few kinks

 This is poetry, what the f**k did you bring  

Loose my place but not my thoughts, repeating myself in ink

Really I'm on the brink, close to the edge, kitchen sink 

What would Poe say, what would Pac think, 

Would they idolize you if they critiqued your s**t

Marry had a little lamb and then you slaughtered it 

Reviews

[Yurie Lee]

This is poetry on steroids, I see. Well, more like a poem with a little edge to it. I get the idea of the poem and it does come off a bit to be like "in your face". And if that's what you're going for, awesome~! Pretty unique poem, my friend~

[BLitZeD]

ya basically lol. thank you for your review yurie :)

[A writer]

So what's this all about? I see only cursing, and telling others, that their writing is s**t.
Well, this is just crappy words, forced into lines.

[silent poet]

this is what you call blitzed plain and simple

[A writer]

aha...So put simply, you're just a jerk off. Good to know. Bye.

[silent poet]

says the JERK! good day now :)

[silent poet]

not a rapper yet your delivery killed this on sight!!! completely dopeness!!

[BLitZeD]

i know right...*shakes head and smiles*

[BLitZeD]

thanks for the defense on the next comment up

[Celie Rose]

Loved it... the presentation, rhythm, emotion, the flow and rawness. Had to chuckle at the two last lines." Would they idolize you if they critiqued your s**t, Marry had a little lamb and then you slaughtered it" Well written..Keep writing!

[BLitZeD]

punch line delivered... lol just kidding, glad you liked it was my pleasure

[BlaqkShadow]

Love it, the rhythm and flow is perfect, nothing jarring, completely tailored and streamlined - wonderfully done. I also adore the words you've used, my favourite lines are the first two "Instrumentals on, doesn't make it music, I'm not a f*****g rapper, I'm just writing new s**t", I completely agree with this sentiment, some of the s**t out there now isn't music just coz there are instruments and so called 'lyrics'. This is proper stuff, love it love it love it XxXx

[BLitZeD]

i agree, in my opinion the problem with music is that it became more about the beat then the lyrics. im gllad you like this thanks for the review

[McBear]

I loved the flow and rhythm of how you wrote this, friend. Good Job!

[BLitZeD]

highly appreciated poison

[McBear]

:) My pleasure!

[dan]

This almost seems like it's directed at me, though my sensitivity is on warp speed always. But it seems directed at someone who reviewed your writing with a very negative slant. I know I'm too old to understand a lot of the cultural references you mention and it kind of makes me feel inferior. I think you have all the talent in the world, and I think I may be too old to properly appreciate it. Don't quit RR'ing me though, please. take care...dan

[BLitZeD]

lol not at you at all, or anyone else, i wouldnt stoop to the level of revenge on writerscafe,.. this is where i go to get away from the real world, not start drama . just a broad statement that what i write is poetry, but if you throw a beat on it yea it could be a rap...i find on here their is a distinct difrence between the two of them and i dont agree with those standards....im not sure if it was this or the one before/after it but i didnt send rr out because i was curious how the numbers would look without the rr support... long story short, were good man, aint no worries hahaha

[dan]

Thanks for the reassurance; yeah, this came as a RR...always glad to get your RRs. So do think this old f**k can continue to review you even if I don't understand your most current cultural refs? I may be dying but I'll keep on trying, blitzed! take care...dan

[Emily]

I loved it!
Very well written!
Keep on writing!

[BLitZeD]

: )

[Dead]

Great!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I have a poem I want to run by you

[BLitZeD]

ok,. inbox it to me