Half God

This ones from my skeleton page.

That's the lab, where all of my rhymes are made.

Picked apart  and twisted around till its considered a up grade.

Trained to listen, decent enough to throw up on stage.

Until the words learn better there kept in they're cage.

Say something cool like filled with deception and rage.

Wont ever live to regret them only with time they'll age.

Like wine they'll get fine, a dime,  but stay resistant to change, 

never disintegrate, dilute, contagious like mange.

A mixture of space and drugs, Quantum Entanglement engaged.

The elixirs enough to make pharaohs raise from there grave.

Black is the magic of my personal mage.

Quicker's a must but with precision it pays,

To drink from the cup, washing the brain. 

Scribes of the dead ingested the manuscript ways. 

Re-write the lives of the gods, clouded in darkness and haze.

Minus the fame, mortal to some, 

Revelations reveals

Demi runs in there veins 

Reviews

[Confuser]

BLitZed; It's a cool poem, with a plethora of fantastic, clever, imaginative lines. You slammed it down and turned it around. It's so creative I'm bowing to the skeleton page. You are very talented with rhythm and flow and the images that you built grow taller as you go. I love it! (their cage?; reveal(s) I love the Demi Gods too; that genre of writing is so intriguing, the fantasy and myth is magical. I think right now, you're probably a Half God poet. Take a bow too. Thanks. Dale

[BLitZeD]

too kind too kind :)

[Confuser]

Loved it....

[Mitali Shah]

This ones from my skeleton page.
That's the lab, where all of my rhymes are made.
Picked apart and twisted around till its considered a up grade.
Loved it

[Emily]

Very cool and energetic! But, you should use they're instead of there in the 5th line.

[Ruth]

Interesting feel to this piece, a rap type vibe almost, carries tones and energy :)

[AaronFreitas]

I always enjoy your creativity and your rhyming buddy... if I was in Florida I'd find a way to go with you and take Dan's advice and hit up an open mic night or something. Awesome work buddy!

[Shea McWilliams]

Again, your rhymes are incredible. Very rap-like in nature, isn't it? I love it though, the rawness in your works. It's wonderful. Great job, keep writing!

[dan]

blitz, Again your rhyme scheme is very much like hip-hop freestyle and I urge you to find a coffee shop or café near you that has live poetry readings. That was a huge boost for me when I did it (scared shitless, of course). You've got skills...utilize them for more than WC! take care...dan

[BLitZeD]

idk man i write, i thought bout doing some stuff like that but like u said scared shitless. i know what i write is dope, even at that the confidence lacks lol ....some day tho, i will

[Emily]

Nice wording!
Well done!!

[R Smith]

with your rapping style you produce some really great rhymes, you should get into music, unless you are of course, well done :)

[Michael Wright]

Good expressive views and and decent flow
Good Job