Devil's Avocado

This is for Julia, an expert avocado lover.

I am the devil's avocado

You bought me with a tomato

from the supermarket

at the end of the road

 

I had a sticker on me

It said that I was ripe

I am blackened and ready

I am just your type

 

You walked me home

A salad just for you

But I am the devil's avocado

I have a little surprise... for you

 

Your pathetic attempts to peel me

Little flecks of skin

I get under your pretty nails

and under your delicate skin

 

I am hard

Harder than hell

I am not your average avocado

Haha! Can't you tell?

 

I sabotage your salad

Now it tastes incomplete

Oh, I am sooo bad!

I am the avocado of deceit!

 

Well, I'll eat you tomorrow

you whisper gently to me

as you shelf me in the fridge

by the houmous and the cheese

 

The next day you see me

a little battered and bruised

and half cut open

I look like the intimates of your muse

 

But I am still not ripe

Not ready to be eaten

Have an omelette instead, will you?

The eggs! They must be beaten!

 

I am the devil's avocado

Lord of your smelly fridge

For weeks I reign supreme

More annoying than a midge

 

I am the devil's avocado!

Your craziest sin

I love it when you...

Ah no! Not the bin!

Reviews

[Jennifer]

ha ha ha, thats cute!

[The Archangel Gabriel]

That was wonderful. Oh, the petty sins of Loserfur's advocado! What a bad Loserfur!

I like the line:

"I sabotage your salad
Now it tastes incomplete
Oh, I am sooo bad!
I am the avocado of deceit!"

Just say, "No!" to the deceit of the Devil's avocado!

This was very fun and very well written. Thanks for sharing.

-Gabe

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Lol - you are still funny...no matter what they say...
Light,
Siddartha

[Melody P-]

ahhhhh ha ha** this is great!
I love the sabotage aspect and your words flow more than beautifully;)

[Melody P-]

ahhhhh ha ha** this is great!
I love the sabotage aspect and your words flow more than beautifully;)

[Emily B]

All the way through the clever words, I kept thinking Jenn would love this, and look, she did!

[Tania Leigh]

LMAO This is wayyyy too funny! Clever too :-)

Thanks for the laugh !

[J. Elsie]

i couldn't stop laughing. are those veggies torturing you darling?

love the play on "devil's advocate"
very very clever.