NOT A VICTOR

a shockingly large number of people( mostly women) around the world continue to stay in abusive, ruthless relationships due to the fear of societal backlash or the blind, delusional love.....

Loving you seemed like a fierce battle we fought

only if once i knew the triumph was futile

'cause you cruelly savaged my mind

letting my soul wither away in exile

you race your fingertips on my wounds of grief

your kisses smother the light of my dreams

my gut churns while the moment is sedated

it gets intense, and i hear my soul's screams

do you ever wonder how absurd this seems?

that you fail to count the broken pieces of my heart

you broke, i fixed, we smiled and tangled again

i let you have the cherry, while i kept fallin' apart

eyes are dry, body is sick

heart is numb, face is crystal

i collapse finally; losing the fight

while you walk away; not a victor

 

Author's Note

in case you have instances to share, please do

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

Hello Bhumika! Thank you for the frnd request. This is your first work that I'm reading and reviewing and I think I really admire the poem so much. Not because of it presentation or how it flows but because of its message which is so very vital and true in this world no matter where we go. Women being abused and hurt every single day staying in abusive relationships... But sadly most of them do not find the courage to step outside of that relationship for the betterment of themselves, and I can feel for them, it's not easy... But again they gotta stand up for them to see the light of life again...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Bhumika Rao]

thank you so much Dhiman....i really feel deeply about this and there was no better way of expressing my discontent than writing

[Wayward Soul]

Sorry it took me so long to read this, its a lovely piece, The words are woven intricate ply to portray the speakers emotions. Lovely, simply lovely.

[Bhumika Rao]

thank you so much wayward soul!!!!!

[APOORVA]

just a word, beautiful !!
you have a potential to be a published writer must say

[Bhumika Rao]

Thanks a lot Apoorva for your inspiring words!!! It means a lot.....

[ern]

This is really beautiful! I especially love the last stanza! The first few lines really captured me. While this piece is sad, this darkness gives it beauty.

[Bhumika Rao]

Thanks Nicki!! I use poetry as a tool to comment on social issues and get messages across.........i'm glad you liked my work!!!!

[ern]

You're welcome and I'm glad you use your writing for that!

[Adam Adams]

very dark poetry!

these given lines're quite proactive, & very piercingly written:

"you race your fingertips on my wounds of grief
your kisses smother the light of my dreams..."

the savagery of cruelty is being shown in such words. it makes saying that.. when love gets replaced with something dark, it gets turned into "lost-humanity" which further turn the men into animals, & animals into the beast of nights'. very deep, & heartfelt it is! you creatively poured down the port of pain into the misery of words plucked from the very miserable life. interesting!

[Bhumika Rao]

thanks a lot...you've been kind enough to give your reviews!!! :)

[Adam Adams]

looking forward to reading your work.

[YanZeros]

A very strong poetry writing reality on today's society that this does exist! Keep writing Bhumika Rao :)

[Bhumika Rao]

aw thank you....your words are so encouraging!

[YanZeros]

:) you're welcome!

[TheAimlessWanderer]

deep raw brutal i love it thank you for sharing such a deep part of yourself it was beautifully crafted and intense.

[Bhumika Rao]

thank you so much for your appreciation

[Tazeen Ahmed]

"Not a victor" expresses emotions of sorrow ...when someone completely loses hope and surrenders
At times, we do give up
Somewhere its talks about lost love

Well conveyed , it was frankly a deep poem

[Bhumika Rao]

thank you so much tazeen...i'm really happy that you liked it

[J. Sam Barr]

Very deep and offering a peek into your soul. Life is about change with ends and new beginnings.

[Bhumika Rao]

thank you so much....i'm glad you liked it!!

[Cerebriation]

This is a really neatly structured piece! The rhyme scheme is just a little offset, then at the end the whole scheme changes, as does the story. This is a complete piece, Awesome work.

[Bhumika Rao]

thanks a lot cerebriation.....i'm glad you mentioned the structural aspect of my poem as i'm an amateur and know li'l about it.thanksss again!

[Cerebriation]

It's all mostly a matter of preference, but different structures and schemes can add to or take away from the piece as a whole. Different line breaks and spacing, as well as punctuation and rhyme all affect how the words are read, and how they flow. Try reading what you write out loud. The structural aspect will become very clear.

[Bhumika Rao]

thank you so much!!!! this was really beneficial....now i have some great tips to enhace the beauty of my writing

[Cerebriation]

Come check out my catalog. There is plenty of different kinds of work to check out, and the collection is pretty big.

[Bhumika Rao]

definitely....!!!