This Sacrifice

I don't classify this as a poem. This is to my father, who left and played his part perfectly.

If I could write a symphony,
I'd dedicate the sounds to you.
But I can't make the instruments master the way you performed the part.
My mind is getting older,
And with it,
Me colder.
To say that this was supposed to happen,
Would be a lie.
Pain is never in the road.
But you chose the path,
Didn't open the door,

It slammed shut.
If I could write you a speech,
To fully express this grief,
I wouldn't try.
The heartache is left behind,
Never to be brought back to our minds.
Because you will never admit you hurt me,
It's my imagination that you say, that is speaking.
Right now I still can't run away,
Today, I have to be brave. . .
Put on a happy face,
And when you come around,
I hide.
I was the one sacrifice,
never to be thought about.
But I bled before your eyes
You didn't care,
I was young,
Too young to know how to escape.
Trapped,
I couldn't breathe.
There was no light.
If I could cry away the tears,
I would try,
But I can't die to the truth.
It can't be covered.
The fact is I was the one sacrifice to your scheme.
Never a second thought,
As I lay there bleeding,
And just needing your help to recover.
I was forgotten. . .
Left to see that you made me die.
Tonight I'm going to tell you a story.
Perhaps the words will come out right.
A child will be abandoned. . .left to cry.
I tried, and you cut me down. . .
God, why can't he see?
He lied, left me there. . .
If I could hold a gun,
Point it to your face,
With the right to chose your fate,
I'd drop the knife and never regret the chance of revenge.
You might hide it,
Pretend it isn't true,
But inside it's the torture I feel that proves I'm right.
Live with yourself.
Let the shame keep you from life.
I can't change the fact that I was the sacrifice.
You made the decision.
I was left to bleed.
A survivor to your hate, a victim of your need.
I don't want to cry, not tonight.
I was the only sacrifice made.
The one left to be slain,
While you walked away,
Not caring about my fate.
But if I could write you a symphony,
I'd dedicate the sounds to you.
But I can't make the instruments master the way you performed your part.

Author's Note

I don't want this to be taken seriously. I am a person who uses strong words. Words that don't always fit each situation. This is bigger than the actual things that happened with my father. I don't want it to be taken like I was hurt (physically). I was not. This is simply a set of words, describing the pain while my parents separated.

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

By definition, virtually all children of divorced couples are unhappy and are reported to have a higher chance of psychology problems, than those of non-divorced parents. It appears that there is a cost of marital conflict and disruption to children's health, which cannot be medically diagnosed.

Your composition highlights the tribulations associated with estrangement and the emotional strongholds created at theses difficult times.

I would add that this is a brave, sympathetic and poignantly written piece on a difficult subject to share!

God's Blessing
Phillozofee

[Bethany Woody]

Such a wonderful, heartfelt piece. I wanted to cry with you, rage for you, and then hug you in the end. You may not have been physically hurt, but there are scars none the less. I hope with time they will fade.
Keep writing, it's like really inexpensive therapy. :)

Mona Lisa

[MrJodie]

Do NOT get into the habit of apologizing for your work. Poetry is very rarely literal. It uses strong words and suggestive phrases to inspire emotion in your reader. Like that symphony you describe, one can be swept away and actually experience what you have composed.

Yes, this poem is painful but it is the kind of pain that makes you gasp and then take a deep breath and feel all the more grateful for the gift of that sweet air. So many know this pain and you've put it into words, beautiful, strong, angry, confident words that speak about past pain and regret that has become present power.

Besides, pain has a purpose. One must always be aware that if you feel a burning sensation and jerk your hand away, from the flame that caused it, then don't reach for it again. You've provided a momentary feeling that people will be able to take with them, learn from and grow with. Bless you.

It's a wonderful piece. Please keep writing. Your passion and talent are pretty obvious.

[distefano 401]

really good poem. i especially liked the beginning and ending lines. it all flowed together very well.

[by S.D.]

Isolating individual feelings can be quite cleansing. I've written poems that did that. This has a lot of impact in it. Most can relate from some time or another, even if it wasn't so strong as a whole, the feeling is just as strong just not in always so great a quantity so it seems like MUCH less.

[Thomas Philmore Jackson]

You've expressed yourself very well, giving us a look into your world during that time. Thank you for sharing, very touching.
TPJ

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Wonderfully written. You have expressed your feeling very well. Thank you for sharing. Debileah