I found a yellow crayon
on the bus today.
It lay in the seat ahead of me.
So lonely.
I picked it up
and painted my page
with its vibrant youth.
Like hills made of sunset
she innocently filled the blank,
and with a message
as to say:
"And to the
window [she]sang
thepasta w a y"
Brilliant was this alone little yellow.
But I knew that it was not for me to keep.
So when it was done,
I put it on the seat next to me.
The crayon so small and unnoticed
was sat upon not just once,
but twice mind you did I see.
Until it was time for me to leave,
and at once, I said:
"M'am, you are sitting
on a beautiful yellow crayon.
Yellow is the colour of optimism, lightness and happiness I believe. I also once read that yellow cars are involved in less accidents than cars of any other colour.
I read the crayon to be a good and cheerful person who never offends anyone but who gets sat on by others from time to time, but who is never crushed and is always capable of giving colour in the hands of someone with the imagination to see what the crayon can do and the creativity to pick it up. Enjoyed the read.
This is perfect. It's so laid-back, yet it gives off a great message. I could really imagine this scene in my head. And I definitely loved your intro. 'I found a yellow crayon on the bus today.' Something about that phrase just totally drew me in, I guess it was because I was like... 'umm, interesting... what about this crayon?', and little did I know that your poem would tell me the meaning of it and more. Really remarkable poem. And also it was quite humorous in its own way ;) 100%
Assigning the yellow crayon the role of a she created a character besides yourself in this poem. I felt really bad for the crayon when she was sat on; and felt like you gave it justice in the end. Silly, obviously, but its this complexity that you give to something so simple that makes this piece humorous in a very underlying way. Very nice!
I enjoyed how you take the reader with you in your touching experience with the yellow crayon. I am especially love yellow so I was ready to explore. Looking forward to reading your other work.
i love this poem. what a funny thing to write about. its amazing how much a little bit of color can change your day or evan the way you think. thanks for a good poem
i really like the way you present the image of the crayon, and you make it seem very brilliant in the lonely bus. i would take another look at the couple lines before the "message" because they seem a little awkward, although i like the message itself. also, in the last stanza, it seems that you worded some lines in order to preserve a rhyme scheme, but that results in awkwardness, like the line "but twice mind you did i see." the rhyme isn't important and the poem suffers from being fored into it.
keep on writin!
This poem is wonderful. I really enjoy poems that are about the little(?) things in life..like crayons. I think the form of this poem is well done...the rhyming is there but not enough to overload the piece. I tripped over the line: "but twice mind you did I see," just phrased a little awkwardly. The ending is very well done. It leaves everything off on a comic note which is always memorable. good read!
wow, never before has a story of a crayon been so. . .amusing? That may not be EXACTLY the word I'm looking for (please forgive, its been awhile) but this piece was exceptional. well written, with great flow and it was just pure damn great
i really enjoy this piece because it's giving life to something so simple that many of us don't even know we have the ability to enjoy. it was endearing. your first stanza is the butterfly catcher.
I am never the same person I was the day before.
But in my heart I am the same kid I've always been.
Such is my paradox.
I strive to become an artisan of life.
Though I am bound to fail, I do not de.. more..