DETOX

Running away is but a slow death.

Leaning on the bathroom stall. Arms stretched out towards the wall.  Hell bound and hanging your head. Suffering the black thoughts you’ve been fed. Detox is gonna take you by the feet again. Falling as your nightmares run you in. Black bolts from your mouth. Across the floor they run about. Little demons and ravaging pigeon pills, stars and dazed in your mind amazed. Hell’s about to run loose. Laying in the piss and booze. But just you watch cuz tonight is gonna be one hell of a f****n' ride.

To your knees you stand and demand your attention span. Images blurry and movement’s in a hurry. Your face takes in the cool as you splash in some sense to fight back the wound. On your back they knaw at you as they attack. Your head’s gone awry and there’s nothing you can do but cry. Escape to look about. They laugh at you as they shout “there is no way out, you’re ours for now!” Walk them off, shake them out loud, slam into the door and fall into the crowd.

Freedom for now.

 

But if you keep runnin, they’ll follow you about. Until the day you count the 6 chambers full, spin the barrel and watch them pull. Running’s a waste. To live every breath a burden of escape. The walking dead. With nothing left inside the head. No hope. No faith. Running on empty they go, til they're done living the show. Stop runnin. Face them here. Face them now. Don’t play stupid, god damnit I know you know how. A part of you they've become, and yet remain hidden from the sun? Expose them for the little s***s they are, and watch them burn until they’re gone. Learn about them, understand them. The thing they want most is your ignorance. To be unknown and in control. The shadows they live and in the shadows they stroll.

So come out into the sun and watch them melt. For the difference between heaven and hell, is that we're either inside or outside the cell. If you reach for your neighbors keys, he will be freed, but if everyone reaches for their own, forever we'll be doomed to live alone. So share your burdens and your blessings, and ask kindly of your neighbors' sufferings. This is the key to your locks, and your escape from the never-ending detox.

Finally able to breath again.

Reviews

[Collette]

"So come out into the sun and watch them melt. For the difference between heaven and hell, is that we're either inside or outside the cell."

So true. I enjoyed this throughly because I've been there before...where ever it truly is. You captured the entire situation with ease, and the frantic flow in some stanzas really helped to give realism to the feelings. Thank you for sharing.

[C. Tompkins]

This is a very interesting piece. I think it would benefit greatly from doing away with the rhyming. I've studied and written prose poems for some time now and I love the freedom they give. You should take full advantage of it. There's already a lot of great imagery and power in the words. Freeing them from rhyme will only let you explode further. Check out some of my prose poems on myspace or the few i have posted on here to get an idea of what i'm talking about. or beter yet, read Russell Edson or Michael Benedikt.

by the way, thanks for the exceedingly kind words for "Speaking to a physician"

[Critic of the World]

This was terrific. Emily Burns said it perfectly: you describe Hell in such startling terms...

I would have given this a higher rating had I not caught your use of "cuz." That's just flat-out unnecessary, in my opinion.

[DecemberXSunset]

"Until the day you count the 6 chambers full, spin the barrel and watch them pull." I love this part...

It is very well written.

Very inspiring... I'd have to say.
Good work.

[Brenda Sue]

Very well written. So much emotion. Wonderfully penned. Great job.

[Emily B]

You've described the Hell in such startling terms. Shocking words, unexpected words until that next to the last paragraph when words slip in that seem a little out of place. They are nice words. Loving, hopeful, learn a lesson words, but they seem at odds with the rest. Like:

A part of you they've become, and yet remain hidden from the sun.

and

For the difference between heaven and hell, is that we're either inside or outside our cell.

and

So share your burdens and your blessings, and ask kindly of your neighbors' sufferings.

It could just be me. Just seems like you switch from edgy and in-your-face to 'mother may I'. Could be it needs a lightning bolt, stop-your-heart kind of ending.

You have an amazing way with words.

[Rain]

What an awesome read. Even the word gives me chills. So many years ago. Your insight into this hell is so vivid. Loved it. Rain..

[Bubo]

On empty they go until they know they don't have to anymore. Stop runnin. Face them here. Face them now. Don't play stupid, all of you know how. A part of you they've become, and yet remain hidden from the sun. Expose them for the little s***s they are, and watch them burn until they're gone. Learn about them, understand them. The thing they want most is your ignorance. To be unknown and in control. The shadows they live and in the shadows they stroll.

Fascinating read, and write of drugs, how your life is so controlled, and the advice in here sound and so very true, running is a fools game.
Incredibly descriptive piece. One that would put you off drugs before you even start, strong words full of metaphors.............and the wonderful end, the feeling of freedom!