Chapter 1

Lights out kid....lights out. 

Is this how it ends?

 

The din surrounding me seems to be quieting down. There seems to be a newfound silence that's sweeping the arena. I can't really see what's going on, my vision has gone past being a blurry haze. It's as though a fog has descended and it just seems to get thicker with every passing moment. I guess this is as fitting an end as any for someone like me…going out on a high, as beaten, broken and battered as I've always been. There honestly is nothing more left to live or die for, I've made my peace, now it's time for my reckoning. I've lived, loved, lost and died a lifetime's worth. 

 

Wait...when did it get so quiet? I see shadows within the fog. Is someone waving at me? Are they holding their fingers in front of my face? I can't tell...my eyes are beyond swollen shut. Are they asking me questions? I don't even know anymore and to be honest I could care less. There's a gentle breeze blowing in here...did they turn up the air? Is something going on? I just need a few more minutes to rest down here before I can get up and out of the way. I guess they were right after all…it is worse this time around, definitely much worse.

 

She's here though, I can feel it in my bones...she actually made it...despite everything. Our love may not be as legendary as all those that have been lived and written. It was simple until it wasn't. Life sometimes gives you a chance to live, feel and breathe and relish each and every one of it’s infinite moments...it almost seems too good to be true. And then it's over, before you even realize what's happened. Reality and all of its friends know how to play their cards and the next thing you know, the most precious moments become nothing but distant, fading memories.

 

No amount of holding on to mementos like their old shirts and pillows, or, smelling the scent of their perfume makes the pain dissipate. Each day is harder than the one before; you're left behind as nothing more than a mere shell of the person you used to be. You learn how to read cues when people hesitantly ask you 'how are you?'

You respond accordingly, albeit semi mechanically, an answer well rehearsed and now practiced with flair and finesse. You see the look of relief pass along their faces, glad they don't have to ask you the difficult questions or stand around awkwardly trying to answer your dilemmas. Despite it all, she made it here today, and that's all that matters. 

 

Our story started in a farmer's market where she was haggling or trying to at least, and in the end snagged my bag of goodies. I got home with a whole bunch of strawberries and blueberries and all these damn fruits.

 

Funny, I thought she wouldn't make it, I was told she's getting married. What a fitting if not ironic way to celebrate life…when a new one begins an old one is fading and ready to be put out. Things could’ve been different, with different end results and consequences. I guess this is where the regrets and reflections portion of life kicks in…but on a more serious note what is up with this deafening silence. I still smell her perfume in the air…come on eyes now is not a good time to start shutting down for a little nap; you might miss catching a glimpse of her. Tell you what, how about I strike a deal with you huh? Let’s re-live the story once more and then you can have yourself a nice little nap okay?

 

The next time I saw her was at the Farmer’s Market the following week. Well I made a pointed effort to track Miss Fruity Cocktail and give her bags back to her…well that, and, I needed food as well. At least this way I knew I wouldn’t be losing or switching bags this time around.

Reviews

[Edouble]

Your writing is deeply emotional and evocative.