Chameleon

It's another version of something I had to do for creative writing.

She casts such a thin shadow,

behind the eyes of those around her.

She speaks loudly what she wants to say,

but it only comes out a whisper. 

She's like that one last ember to die,

hanging on to life more than ever. 

She cries but no one sees,

she laughs but no one cares.

The full moons in her eyes are now waning,

while she's stuck fading.

She knew she'd have to face this horrible fate,

to see her one true mate. 

"I've looked for thee and now you're here" 

"I have come for you my dear" 

the words she longs to hear,

tangled in the web of life,

through the stars of the universe. 

Such a lonely girl she stands,

casting such a thin shadow.

She longs to take in ones true grin,

but hides like the little chameleon. 

Author's Note

I would like to say that those who have read and reviewed, and liked this poem, thank you! When I presented this in class, absolutely no one liked it. It means a lot :)

Reviews

[dovetailer]

well crafted poem...but one question I had was why it would be a horrible fate to see her one true mate?

"I've looked for thee and now you're here"
"I have come for you my dear"
the words she longs to hear,
tangled in the web of life,

this feels like wonderful longing...not a terribly feared outcome...

She seems like a wallflower...unnoticed...inconspicuous...blends into the background like a chameleon...yet she's longing for her one true love...resigned to worship from afar to use an old cliche...

I would suggest having us feel unrequited longing instead of consummate dread or insecurity...which I do feel...if this is your intent, then the poem works for me...

[emmajoygreen]

You write like a person hiding in a cupboard and yet have the obvious power to shout your feelings.. you have here, why not into the world that is yours to share, to enjoy, to learn from and teach to...

[Brad Dehler]

PS- How could no one have liked it from class? What did they say? Didnt it spur discussion about the thin shadows, the loneliness.... etc? What class was it?

[Ken e Bujold]

Ah Moth, don't fret about the reviews, they're just the price we all have to pay for putting bits of ourselves out on the limb of a sometimes fragile tree.
I like this poem, but to be fair I don't love it. But I could. For me the first half, up to "she laughs but no one cares" is a very strong piece of writing. After that, it just slides into the all too predictable "I'm wounded, pity me" sort of lines that really detract from your beginning. I'd say returning to the opening and finding that voice to carry to the end would make a great poem.
Ken e

[Brad Dehler]

Thin shadow. sticking with me. This is a touching poem. Sublime and surrene. Very well constructed. A hopeful yearning. nice.
Such a lonely girl she stands,

casting such a thin shadow.

She longs to take in ones true grin,

but hides like the little chameleon.

[littlekinglord]

It is very well written and is full of emotion some people can't understand or comprehend good poetry it's not your fault that they are oblivious to your creativity

[Aluppi Jampur]

Wearing different skins to hide or blend in.
Always a sad story

[JP142000]

Wonderful flow and layers in the meaning. So glad I came across it.

[Lisasview]

Oh I liked it... So many hidden meanings between the lines.
Good for you for sharing it here.
I end up writing and rewriting my poetry..
Takes along time..and I never feel as though it is finished..
Hard to let go of lines I thought were great..but I often must.. just to get it right..or better.
Not quit sure about the horrible fate part.. I am only guessing what it means..
Lisa

[Moth Phoenix]

Hey thank you for your kind words!
I too feel like poetry is never finished. it could keep going.

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome.
Hope you have time to read some of mine...

[KAREN]

Beautiful and perfectly penned!

[Moth Phoenix]

Thank you :)

[KAREN]

You're welcome!

[Peter Garfield]

I think you have a really steady and beautiful flow in your writing! This piece feels like something different people can relate to and I find SUCH value in that!

[Moth Phoenix]

Hey! Thank you so much! Very kind words :) glad you liked it. hoping i can get some more poetry out!