Scars

Being bullied isn't a good feeling, I should know, I've been there.

Here I am left to die

from all those battle cries

Left my heart out

let it bleed

Infected with your insults

confidence destroyed

Now I cry and cry

always wanting to know why

bullied here and bullied there

But you never care

Now I set you on fire

with every rage of my desire 

You deserve it 

and I hope you get less than nothing

Author's Note

Opinions?? Thoughts?? Reviews??

Reviews

[Jim Lozkittle]

Strong. Sad, angry, and violent, perfect combo for a bully poem. The reflection of your anger and frustration shine through

[vincentbals]

Good form of spitting out your emotions. Nice flow. I liked reading it!

This work is obviously full of mixed up emotions and frustrations. The words are mostly abstractions and are kind of hard to decipher because of it. Concreteness is something I readily preach for new poets. For example, if the reader took any one of the sentences in your poem, and tried to determine what it meant, they would probably be confused because the words are too big and abstract; there is nothing to ground the reader. Talk about the bullying; about the bruises, about the slaps; the reader wants to feel the slap.

A good exercise for this problem would be to take abstract words like love, death, forever, heaven, hell, hate, etc...and ask yourself if you can put a concrete example to them. This will help disrupt those bland telling statements and give you some nice images as well. With that said, i think your technique is very nice, and you have great narrative skills too. Hope this has helped. Thanks

[sammyj]

I like this a lot. It made me think.

[Khaaki]

short but full of pain n grief... a smart portrayal of sadness... d emotions flow smoothly from ur poem...

[Hippy]

extremely powerful in emotional it is a great peice truely very sad but has a vengence at the end that i like

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Infected with your insults
confidence destroyed

sometimes emotional pain is worse then physical, to often it last longer... simple words and yet you describe the hurt and damage with great intensity.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Good poem. I know how you feel...this was a good write. Thanks for sharing. :)