To a Long Lost Friend

haven't wrote in awhile.

You'll get what you ask for,oh one day you will
You'll meet that guy that wont say no
You'll meet that guy that will give you what you want
No, he wont hesitate
But, after he wont care
So go on genius
Hike up your skirt
He'll pull down his pants
As vulgar as it sounds
This is the way you dance
You bring this upon yourself
The guys have no respet for you, you say
You know why?
You don't have any respect for yourself!
I try to tell you
But my words slip in the air
Fine! you dont want to listen to me
Don't.

But im telling you one day he'll come
And he'll leave
Where will I be you ask
I'll be gone
Just like those guys, I don't hang around long with s***s

Author's Note

forgive my errors

Reviews

[Broken Angel]

I LOVW IT!! And I agree completely! ^^

a definite "oh, ouch."

people are going to treat someone like that like s**t because they can.

I like the sharpness in this.

I liked this poem very much. You build great narrative tension right up to the end, using repetition and other peoples words to get your point across. Very nice. I would consider omitting the very last sentence, " i don't hang around long with s***s." this sentence is just a reiteration of earlier actions, and is unnecessary to force that idea down the readers throat. We are already seeing her promiscuity. It really takes away from the power of the prior statement too, "ill be gone just like those guys." This statement is the ultimate climax. Some of the punctuation made the poem slow too. This poem would really work if you drove the reader down the page for that climactic statement. After all, this is something you want to say, something quite profound. So let all of that release at the end. Very nice work. Thanks