Chapter 11

        I saw her standing there in a plaid button down shirt, skinny jeans and converse.  She was incredibly beautiful, but it was more than physical beauty that drew me to her.  There was something in her eyes that I’d never seen in anyone’s before.  It comforted me and made me want to be hers.  I felt something I’d never felt when I first got lost in her eyes, love.

        “Hi,” I said awkwardly.  What the f**k do you say to a beautiful stranger?  This was not like in the movies and television shows where I would have some kind of clever joke and she’d melt like butter in my hands.  I was already hers, I just didn’t know if she’d even want me the way I wanted her.

        “Hi,” she said and she smiled.  I could have died right then and died happy.  That smile was the only thing I needed.  “My name’s Christine,” she said holding her hand out to me.

        “I’m Andrew,” I said automatically.  I never introduced myself as Johnny anymore, it was too dangerous, especially after the incident with Jack.  I knew if people wanted to see the real me they would and they would freak out and probably die by my hand.  Christine didn’t need to fear that.  I would die first before I let anything happen to this angel.

        She laughed at our awkward silence, “Well nice to meet you Andrew, can I help you with anything?”  

        Finally my charm kicked in, “Go out with me tonight, let me treat you like the princess you are.”

        She giggled and looked away, “Come on, a cute guy like you has to have a girlfriend.”

        “Well I might be looking at her if she agrees to come out with me tonight.”

        She smiled wide at this and my heart must have skipped a few beats when I saw that smile.

        “Okay, I get off of work in a few hours.”

        “I’ll be waiting right here.”

        “You’re gonna wait three hours for me to get off work?”

        “Would you like me to go somewhere else?  I don’t think I could stand being from your beauty for too long so I’d only be gone for a few minutes anyway.”

        “Ha, you’re a real charmer aren’t you?”

        “Oh I don’t know about that,  I know that I really want to take you out and get to know you and treat you nice.”

        “Aw and you’re sweet, well you can chill out here, but you might want to buy something otherwise my boss will try to kick you out.”

        I smiled, “He could try.”

        From the look on her face the way I’d said that had disturbed her on some level.  That was just animal instinct, when you sense fear, get away from it.  I tried to put on a face that said I was joking but I doubted that fooled anyone.  I turned away from her, as hard as that was, and started drawing in a notebook I had stolen.  Somehow I kept drawing her face, even when I would start drawing something else it would form into her face.

        I didn’t even notice when she came up behind me and saw the drawings.  I felt her presence and quickly turned the page and started drawing anything at all as long as it wasn’t her.

        “You’re really good at drawing,” she said.

        I felt blood rush to my face and muttered, “Thanks.”

        She laughed that musical laugh and said, “You’ve got to be kidding.  You’re all flirty and charming and then when I see you drawing me you try to act all aloof.  It’s actually kind of adorable.”

        I smiled at that, “Well I meant it, thanks.  I’m not really that good though, I’ve only just doodled before.”

        “You could have fooled me.”

        “I actually prefer writing to drawing.”

        “Really?  What do you write?”

        “Mostly fiction, short stories and stuff, and I’ve dabbled in poetry but I don’t really enjoy it.”

        “Why?”

        “It’s just that poetry is supposed to be an expression of emotions or how you feel about whatever, but we’re taught that poetry has to be technical and most of the time it’s hard to be technical when you’re trying to convey emotions.”

        “What about Poe and Shakespeare?”

        “They were geniuses they don’t count.  Besides there’s plenty of people who will tell you that neither of them really wrote their works.”

        “You believe those people?”

        “Absolutely not.”

        We laughed at that for a while.  She made my heart soar.

 

        We talked about random things when she took her breaks, otherwise I drew or wrote or surfed the web (the angel let me borrow her laptop).  While I surfed the web I tried to find any articles about me or Fox or anything that might give me some news about what was going on.  Things seemed too easy as of late.  I expected some kind of reaction from Fox about the stunt I pulled with Jack.  But there was nothing.

        Finally Christine got off work.  She was closing up when I realized it was kind of late.

        “So what do you want to do?” She asked trying to stifle a yawn.

        I laughed, “How about I walk you home and we take a rain check for doing something.”

        “What a gentleman,” she giggled.

        “I try,” I smiled at her.

        We started walking, she lived a bit of a walk away, but I didn’t mind at all.  As were walking along she suddenly grabbed my arm and told me she knew a shortcut and turned us into an ally.  I could have told her this was not a good idea, but we weren’t far down when this became apparent to her as well.

        Four thugs stepped out of the shadows, two in front of us and two blocking our escape.  They all had a disgusting leer on their vile faces that boiled my blood.  I could tell what they were thinking and I didn’t f*****g like it.

        “Hey what have we got here,” one said to the others.

        “Looks like some fun,” another licked his lips.

        “Hey honey, why don’t you drop the loser and come have some fun with us,” said the one immediately in front of us, the leader I assumed.

        I could feel Christine trembling next to me.

        “I think you boys should move on, she needs to get home,” I said softly.

        “I think you need to f**k off punk, we were talking to the lady,” said the leader.

        “And I will warn you one time.  If you try anything, you will not leave this ally in good health.”

        They all had a good laugh at my threat.  They didn’t know who the f**k they were dealing with.  The two behind us tried to grab me while the two in front tried to grab Christine.  They never got the chance.  In the blink of an eye I had stabbed and slashed at all of their hands.  None of them even saw me take the dagger out.  I mule kicked the two behind me and then jumped at the others.  I wasn’t looking to kill them, but I did kill the leader and the one next to him.  The first guy was not intentional but I ended up crushing his larynx when I attacked him.  At that point I saw no harm in going ahead and killing the leader, so I cut his throat.  

        The other two had fled when the saw the dagger.  At first I thought they might come back with weapons or other friends, but they didn’t.  I scared the s**t out of them.  Then I saw Christine.  She was sobbing and curled up into the fetal position.  She kept muttering, “Don’t kill me, oh God, please.”

        “Christine, it’s okay.  No one’s going to hurt you.”

        “What about you?” she wailed.

        I was taken back by this.  I had just saved her and she thought I was going to kill her.  Then it clicked.  She’d figured it out.  She knew who I was.

        “I’m not going to hurt you, Christine.  Now please let me take you home.”

        She looked into my face, but then her eyes were drawn to the blood stained dagger I was still holding.  I quickly put it away and offered her my hand.

        “You’re not gonna kill me?” she whimpered.

        “I’m really not,” I said as convincingly as possible.  Thoughts were already racing around my head about how to kill her so she wouldn’t tell anyone what happened.  Those ideas also crushed my soul.  The soul I was sure I had lost when I dug my way out of a few feet of dirt to kill my classmates.

        She took my hand and I lead her home.

 

        She let me inside her apartment reluctantly, but I convinced her it would be best if I made sure everything was alright.  She watched me closely as I checked to make sure everything was okay.  

        “You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?” she asked from the couch.

        I looked down at her and sat on the coffee table in front of her.

        “I don’t want to, I really don’t.  I think I’ll die again if I do.”

        “Again?”

        “Well, I don’t know if I’ve ever actually died, but I’ve come close on a few occasions.  I’ve even been buried…don’t you know who I am?”

        She shook her head, “I have no idea who you are Andrew, but I’m terrified of you.”

        Pain shot across my face at these words, “I never wanted you to know, but this is a sick world full of horrible people.  And unfortunately I am one of them.  Christine, my name is Johnny Sikow and I am a serial killer.”

        She sat there stunned for a few minutes.  I almost smiled at what she would say to the press if she could, ‘He seemed so normal,’ and then she said something I didn’t expect.

        “I guess I knew from the start, but sometimes you don’t want to believe things, especially if you might get hurt.  Well in more ways than one.”

        “Please believe me Christine, I never wanted you to know.  I never wanted you to know Johnny Sikow, I wanted you to know Andrew Blake.”

        She laughed sadly, “It’s never a good thing to build a relationship based on a lie.”

        I laughed at that too, “I couldn’t exactly tell you the truth in a crowded coffee shop.  Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything at all, then you’d be okay.”

        “Or I’d be getting gang raped as we speak and left to die in that ally or some other awful place.”

        “Maybe.”

        “Johnny,” she pleaded, “I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

        “I want to believe you so badly Christine, but…”

        “You can stick around if you want and make sure…”

        “I can?”

        “I don’t want to die Johnny, but I don’t want you to leave either.”

        I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  A normal girl was willing to accept who I was and what I was.  It was just too good to be true.

        “Do you promise to not betray me or try to turn me in to the police?”

        “I promise.”

        “I can’t believe you right now, but I’m willing to give you a chance Christine.  I really hope this turns out alright.

        “I promise not to let you down Johnny.”

        “Honestly Christine, if I didn’t feel as strongly about you as I do, you would be dead.”

        “I understand Johnny.  I feel pretty strongly about you too.  Um, you’re not going to make me kill anyone are you?”

        “No Christine, you’ll never have to kill anyone.”

        “Okay, I’d just rather not do anything like that.”

        “I understand, I’d prefer if you didn’t do anything like that too.  It’s hard to even imagine you hurting anyone at all.”

        “Mkay.”

        “Well I’ll let you go to bed, you’ve got to be exhausted after all this.”

        “Yeah I am…do you want to sleep with me?”

        I let out a sigh, “I’d like to Christine, but the last time I jumped into bed with a woman, things didn’t turn out great.  If it’s okay with you I’d like to wait.”

        “Well that’s fine but we don’t have to have sex, I’d just kind of like someone to hold me while I sleep.”

        I thought about this.  I’d never just cuddled with a woman.  The few I did have sex with, we had sex and then went to sleep.  The others I didn’t even share a bed with, I just let them have it all to themselves.  Christine was different from every woman I’d ever known.  She was special and I as much as I desired her physically, I also felt like sex would either ruin the magic or make the dream come true.  I was hoping for the later. 

        “Sure, we can cuddle.”

        She smiled, took my hand and led me to the bedroom.  We didn’t kiss, we didn’t fool around, we didn’t do anything but hold each other and sleep.  I had never had a more peaceful night’s sleep as the one I had that night.  There was something comforting about Christine.  She willingly slept with a serial killer who only a short while ago told her he might have to kill her.

 

                When I woke up the next morning I found Christine gone.  I was panic stricken.  Had she tricked me into trusting her so that she could turn around and stab me in the back?  I couldn’t believe that once more my emotions had brought me to the brink of destruction.

        “Johnny, you up?” came that angelic voice from the kitchen.

        I sighed in relief and got up to go see that beautiful face that had stolen my heart.  She smiled as I walked in.

        “Hungry?” Christine asked me and starting putting pancakes on a plate in front of me.

        “So you cook huh?”

        “A little,” she giggled.

        “Tell me, what’s it like to sleep in the arms of a killer?”

        “Johnny, I’d rather not think of you as a serial killer.”

        “But that’s what I am Christine and there’s no escaping it.”

        “I want to think of you as the sweet and charming guy I met at the café yesterday.  I want to think of you as the amazing man who saved my life last night.  And I want to think of you as the kind soul who held me all night and made me feel safe and whole.”

        I looked away, “The guy that said if your boss tried to stop us from talking he’d do something to him.  The man who added more bodies to his list of people he’s killed.  And the soul who considered killing you.”

        She put her hand on mine, “But you didn’t Johnny, that’s what means something.  You could have killed me, you probably feel somewhere that you still should, but you didn’t.  I think it’s because we both feel something for each other that goes beyond words.  Maybe I’m the one person you can’t kill.”

        “Maybe you’re the person to save my soul,” I said sarcastically. 

        “Maybe I am.  Who’s to say you’re truly damned?  Maybe I’m here to help you get the life you could never have.”

        “You’re serious?”

        “Deadly,” she smiled.

        I smiled back at her.  Maybe things would be okay.