¡Claus-tro-pho-bi-a!

...My biggest fear, written for a contest...

"One, two..." and they all scamper away,

Like tiny mice scurrying from feet.

 

"...three, four..." and they disappear from sight,

Striving to find a place so discrete.

 

My eyes like search lights, frantically seeking

A refuge in which I shall never be found.

 

The door creaks open, a tempting gesture.

Beckoning fingers motion without sound.

 

In this cramped closet the air is thick.

Panic settles as the door slams shut.

 

Walls closing in 'til I'm barely breathing.

A wave of nausea crashes against my gut.

 

Being squeezed so tightly, as I cry out.

Invisible hands crushing my throat.

 

Trapped in this prison, the light has gone.

Ensnared in this jungle, lost and remote.

 

"Ready or not!" and the hunt has commenced.

Engulfed by the darkness, releasing a gasp.

 

Tears spring to my eyes as I am revealed.

Around her warm body my arms clasp.

 

Sunshine surrounds her head like a halo,

Her smile so bright she puts the stars to shame.

 

She kisses my cheek and holds me close.

My guardian angel has my mother's name.

 

 

Author's Note

When I was very young, I was playing Hide and Seek with my sister when I decided to hide in a closet. The door slammed shut and I couldn't get it open. I started screaming and crying, until finally my mom came and saved me :] This was my poetic version of the story, hope you enjoyed!

Reviews

[Collette]

What a beautiful piece...I love the parallel between hide and seek and the claustrophobia. You have an excellent flow within this poem, and the rhyme scheme keeps it whimsical and some what sing-songy. Definitely added to your perceptions as a child.

Trapped in this prison, the light has gone.

Ensnared in this jungle, lost and remote.



"Ready or not!" and the hunt has commenced.

Engulfed by the darkness, releasing a gasp.

I LOVED those lines. Awesome write, great job. Thanks for sharing.

[Candle in the wind]

It is such a vivid recreation of the incident with such creative embellishment. Great job I feel nostalgic. So often I yelled out to my mom to come and smooth my fears away. She can even read my unshed tears and detect the slightest crease on my brow. Thank god for mothers!

[Lorna Lee]

Wow hun, this is excellent. I was scared right along with you. This coincides with my Noctiphobia piece (Fear of the Dark) so I can certainly relate to your fear.

Very well written. I'm impressed and proud of you.

Lorna Lee

[None]

Your talent is showcased here in your poem. A very difficult subject to write about but you described each emotion and the terror of claustrophobia quite well. On top of all that, you had a happy ending with a beautiful way to describe your mom.
I worked in the MRI dept. for a few years at the hospital and there are so many people who would need medication to get through it. It is a very real fear, indeed.
I can't wait to read more of your writing! Excellent writing, Princess Leia! :)

[Lucinda Bogart]

This is beautiful...you did such a great job of describing the escalating fear and running-wild imagination, and then the ultimate rescue by someone you loved and could depend on. Very nice !

[Nicholas Hallows]

This is really good. I really like the contrast of the innocence of hide and seek and the violence used to describe your fears. You definitely have a talent for rhyme! Great stuff. Thanks for sharing. NH

[John Stussy]

not claustrophobic thankfully, unless i am in a crowd of strangers packed tightly and it's not a concert :P very nice telling of this story though, glad your mom came to the rescue. i enjoyed your telling of it, stay out of closets lol.

[Tania Leigh]

Leia, you must show this poem to your mom, as it will surely bring to her eye a tear, like it has to mine.

I remember you telling me this story, and the reason it affects me so is that in the blink of an eye you have grown from that scared little girl in the closet to a beautiful young woman with a heart of gold and a talent for writing to match......this is excellent, and I enjoyed it very much.