When You Heal

 

Take my hand that we may run through rainstorms,

Laughing at puddles both jumped and missed,

Follow me to the rooftop where the stars light the stage,

A show for two singing love ballads long after the hour of sleep,

 

Lay with me in soft candlelight while i read to you from my favorite book of poetry,

Only putting it aside to feel the promise of your touch,

listen to the wind as it whisper's to you,

Take shelter from your storm in my loving arms.

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

I like the content very much, but would suggest editing the text as follows, to add greater dynamics to a very creative composition;

Take my hand
That we may run through rainstorms
Laughing at puddles both jumped and missed.

Follow me to the rooftop
Where the stars light the stage
A show for two singing love ballads
Long after the hour of sleep,

Lay with me in soft candlelight
While I read to you from my favorite book of poetry,
Only putting it aside
To feel the promise of your touch.

Listen to the wind
As it whisper's to you
Taking shelter from your storm,
In my loving arms.

I hope my interpretation is constructive!

Phill(ozofee)

[Wicahpi]

I think it's wonderful just as is! beautiful

[RHEA CROSLEY]

Very beautiful scene of romance and poetry. They go well together. Thanks for sharing.

[Jason Henry]

beautiful read...

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Thats a lovely piece , you have the talent to describe love and softness in such few words, when I read you, I get into the picture so easily, suddenly in your world for few minuts of softness and relax and than ... back to my real life. The taste of sweetness stay long after the reading is finished Thank you! Yossi

[Dalaina Renee]

Very pretty!Liked it!

[Forist.johnston]

I really enjoyed reading this. The only thing I have found complicated or confusing is this line:

'Lay with me in soft candlelightwhile i read to you from my favorite book of poetry'

I think it should be something like;

'lay with me in soft candlelight while I read to you from my favorite book of poetry'

Just a grammar thing mostly =]

But I think Phill has a point with the set up, but It's your poem, and you do it however you like.