Breathe that tic tac

She was there, lying on that old bed that kept her body every night for just about 51 years of marriage. 

For just about 51 years she did nothing but follow. Follow rules, follow steps, follow shadows. She could not think, otherwise she would have met her fears. 51 years married with him, by words and facts. He smoked lots of sins, she breathed them through her wrinkles, her sad smile, her grey eyes.

In that warm afternoon she was there, in the bed, looking outside her window, where her favorite flower was.

I was there to hold her back, none of us was talking but even so, I could hear her thoughts. She was there, in my arms while that skinny body was struggling to breathe some more hours.

As she was looking outside, she raised her hand, I could see her bones and her last drop of blood. She then said with a voice I've never heard before: I wish to go out and just walk, I wish to live. Would you do that for me? 

Would you live and make your own decisions, would you believe in yourself and speak loud and clear your ideas? Would you marry the one you love and build the most amazing walls of a house you would call it home?

I smiled and she knew then I would do all she could not do.

My grandmother died at 69 years old, taking cancer with her, learning not how to live but how to desire living.

I now, do all she could not do.

Meanwhile, do you live?