First time story

I story I just started. I've never written anything ever, so yes it not good. Please review my start!!!

    It was 8:02 am and Joseph sat at the kitchen table reading his newspaper. The headline announced another missing person reported in St. Helena. Joseph grew frustrated as he read the article in solitude. This was the fourth person reported to be missing within the last week and neither he or the police had any idea who was responsible.St. Helena, a city without any major crimes, was now being terrorized but someone unknown to Joseph. He grew increasingly agitated with every new report he heard of. Joseph had been aware of this newest disappearance since the day before. The city's police chief Robert Miller had called him when he had received notice of this new disappearance. And now as he sat reading the article, this situation was becoming even more real to him. Joseph sighed as he folded the paper and tossed it on the chair next to him. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair.
    Outside it was clear and sunny as if it was another ordinary day. As he sat in his chair and stretched out his legs, Joseph could hear the spring larks in their song. To Joseph it wasn't just another day, he was determined to help find the perpetrator behind all this. Aside from the objections to him becoming involved that Robert Miller had raised the day before, Joseph was determined to do all he could. He was never one to stand back and let things just happen, he knew he had to do all he could. He opened his eyes and turned to look out the window where he saw the expanse of green hills in the distance. St. Helena was beautiful with it's vineyards and orchards blooming everywhere you looked. Joseph's home rested on top of Mt. Crest Point  which overlooked St. Helena and now as Joseph looked down at his city he was struck with a feeling despair. Despair for the people who had vanished and being powerless to prevent anymore victims.
    As he sat he reflecting on his beautiful city of Northern California, he remembered his life here as a child. He remembered the days he spent playing in the hills of St.Helena which seemed to have no end. He had lived here all of his life and planned on staying here until time told him otherwise. All of his childhood friends had now left St. Helena as their destiny was now elsewhere for them.

Author's Note

I haven't got to the part where I talk about what Joseph does for a living or who he is. I'm getting there.

Reviews

[ShanZ-Turn]

This is a good start, sounds like you have a good idea to write about... I have a few suggestions and there pretty basic, nothing to do with your story.

reported to be missing..... I don't think you need the to be in this

terrorized but someone unknown to Joseph.... but should be by

involved that Robert Miller had raised the day before......perhaps raised by RM the day before. I think it flows off the tongue better

As he sat he reflecting on his......you don't need the second he

he spent playing in the hills..... I think you can remove the he

friends had now left St. Helena as their destiny was now .... this sounds odd, i think it is the had now, and was now.. try taking the first now out....

I hope these help, and I am looking forward to reading more..thank you for sharing

[Mandi D K]

What a great piece to start with.
Just a few things.

Try reading your story out loud, it helps pick up the things your head autmatically changes for you.
Also with the first line of the story there is no need for the indent. The only things that need indenting are every paragraph after and speech. The first line is never indented.
Other than that i think it's a great start and i look forward to reading the second piece.

[Dawn]

This is a good foundation and plot line for your story..I can't wait to read more about Joseph and who he is!
Welcome to writers cafe!

[Lady Sothis]

This is an excellent base. You introduce us to the character of Joseph quite well, giving us a feel for both him, his situation, and his feelings. My biggest suggestion would be to do a bit more showing than telling. You tell us quite a bit but it might be more engaging if you showed us. An example would be with the sentence "Joseph grew frustrated as he read the article in solitude." You might show that frustration by having him pace angrily, rub his forehead and sigh, or slam his fist down against the table. All of these would clearly show us what he is feeling without the author having to tell us directly.

Besides for that you do have a few extraneous words now and again (as pointed out by ShanZ-Turn below me) and you also have a few too many short punctuated sentences. These can definitely be good, they lend a certain style to your writing, but I would still recommend you tie a few of them together.

Still this is an excellent piece so far and I look forward to reading the rest of it!

[Tomás Ó C..]

Looking forward to the next section...