Chapter 2

Theo's POV.
I noticed the two girls presence when they walked past the café window. There was a flash of black and brown as the familiar heads went by and into the store.

The first girl looked as if she was looking for someone. She had black hair and had a nice enough face. Her friend on the other hand, was beautiful and I felt an urge to talk to her. She had piercing green eyes which caught my grey ones. My breath caught as I looked over her outfit. She had nice brown hair which was in a messy bun and a simple but nice outfit.

"Who are you checking out?" Mark, the other waiter, asked as he leaned over my shoulder. I looked at him and saw his eyes widen as a smirk creeped up his face.

"No, I got them," I said, making my way over to them.

"What can I get you guys?" I greeted, with a small smile, glancing at both of them.

"Hil, you order first," the green eyed girl said, looking at the menu.

"What do you recommend?" her friend asked, I guess her name was Hil. She tilted her head and smiled shyly.

I stepped over next to her and pointed at the dish, flapjacks. "The flapjacks are pretty good," I smiled, amused at how she was acting.

"Sure, I'll get that," she smiled. I looked over to the green eyed girl when I felt her hand on my forearm and my energy drain from my spine and she slumped forward.

Oh crap. I swore under my breath. This was never supposed to happen, I didn't realize the pledge would take so long to fulfil.

"Hil? Hil, are you okay?" I heard her whisper, her voice straining. She pushed past me while I made sure to keep my arms clear of her.

Mark came over with his smirk on his face which faded and his eyes widened in alarm.

"What happened?" he questioned, looking at me in alarm.

"I don't know," I strained, looking at the green eyed girl who was panicking and calling the ambulance. I wanted to comfort her, telling her that her friend... Hil, would be okay. I would make it okay.

She turned around sharply, her eyes puffy. "What the hell did you do to her?"

I frowned, "I'm sorry, I didn't do anything to your friend." the lie stabbed into my neck.

Her eyes narrowed and she clenched her jaw, eyes still watering.

I pursed my lips and walked away as I heard the ambulance sirens increasing in volume. A headache started throbbing at the base of my neck and Mark brought me around to the back. My vision faded and I felt him sit me onto a chair in the backroom. "I'm sorry," I whispered before giving into the darkness.

***

I came around with Mark sitting beside me, reading a book. I sat up, holding my head, "How long was I out for?"

"Thirty minutes," he mumbled. "Your shift is over by the way," he added, standing up and leaving to go back to tending the store.

I looked at the clock over the fridge in the small room, it was three o'clock in the afternoon. I better go fix what I screwed up as soon as possible. I grabbed my jacket and ran out the front door of the café, Mark waving goodbye.

Ione's POV.
I had been pacing the waiting room in the hospital for an hour and fifteen minutes before a nurse approached me and explained that Hilary was in a coma. I started to panic but I asked before having a mental breakdown, "Can I see her?"

"Sure, I'll take you to her. You can only visit for fifteen minutes though," she said, starting to navigate to the endless white hallways.

Hospitals always made me uncomfortable and apprehensive about nothing. As I walked on the shiny white floors, I took deep breaths hoping desperately to calm myself.

The nurse turned around and opened a door, letting me in. "I'll fetch you in a few," she smiled, sadly. She closed the door quietly as I walked over to  the bed.

"Hil," I whispered, her name catching in my throat. Her usual gleeful face was pale and she had a blank look on her face. The tears started rolling down my cheeks as I took her hand in mine. "Hil, come back to me. I don't know what I would do without you," my voice cracked on the last syllable.

I heard the door creak as the sound of the nurses' voice drifted through the gap.

Quickly, I wiped my eyes dry and turned around to see the cute waiter from the café... The one that did this. Anger flared all over my body, tears flowed down my face freely again as I saw his eyes widen.

"I can fix this," he said, quietly.

Author's Note

please review!

Reviews

[Sesame]

Hello Blackcayne,

Nice read. No sloppy mistakes as far as I could see. Changing POV's and retelling a scene has been done before, but still I find it has some value as long as it offers us some new information. In and that respect there are three that I could find:
- the waiter is good-natured and likes at least one of the girls
- his gift/curse has an effect on himself as well
- he has made a vow of some sort

All in all, enough new details to warrant a retelling of this short scene and progress the story. If you are planning on doing this more often in the rest of your story I would like to warn you about the effect this might have on your reader: it might become tedious. If you are worried about that, try to write the second POV in a scene first with ONLY new information and then add two or three elements that will make the reader recognize what is happening. Good example of yourself here is "the flapjacks".

Regards,

Sesame

@followsesame
www.themagiccave.com